When the honeymoon is over
09 July 2015, 18:58
Nairobi - When you revert back to routine.
At times when the honey moon period in a relationship is
over a lot of people read it as not loving each other anymore. Some get
confused and feel that maybe it is time to end the relationship because a lot
of people live off the high of it. That is one half, the other half decide it
is time they settled anyway-that is in a relationship. If they are married,
they now realize it is about time they started being serious anyway. That is
when a lot of couples start having the talk-bills, plans and mapping of the
future, that sought of thing.
That is the routine I am talking about.
The honey moon period of very relationship or marriage is
when the high ends for everyone. At times not everyone though! There is that
one person in that relationship who will still be up there and make it
uncomfortable for the other one in A LOT of cases. They are the ones who will
read it as the other person falling out of love, care or the relationship. They
will struggle to bring it back to the honey moon stage. Sending love texts and
quotes like the other one used to (the whole day, even while you are both at
the same table). A lot of PDA which is very uncomfortable and if you push them
away they sulk the whole day. Unexpected surprises like anniversaries you did
not even know about. That extra mile, that is meant in good will but makes you
At times, as a couple or maybe as an individual you need to
learn to read when it ends us just that and not make it out as something more
than that. That is what might just make you comfortable enough around each
other and ensure you are in a fulfilling and satisfying relationship.
You used to go for dinner every weekend, or at least three
times a night, so what if you do not feel like doing it the next time and want
to just stay in. It does not mean that you like each other any less, just that
you are tired from running around 24/7 and when you get that one night off, TV
Maybe your boyfriend used to cook your favorite meal once a
week, he does not do that since you moved in. Does that mean he likes you less?
Does that mean now that he has gotten you in his ‘trap’ he does not want to put
in any effort? Just look at it as a shift, he might not be doing that one thing
anymore but maybe he is doing three more things that shows he still cares ever
since you started living together. It might be helping with chores or ordering
in when he sees you are tired. Or even not letting you foot your share of
expenses- that is just another way of showing he still cares. Maybe not with
spaghetti but it still works if you do not concentrate on spaghetti too much.
But if you want him to cook spaghetti it is always as easy as asking. Let him
say no rather than you assuming things in your head.
If you are married, routine is not completely forgetting
about each other. You should never forget but keep reminding each other. If you
forgot to go out last week, go out this weekend. If your favorite restaurant
closed down, look for a new place to explore together. That is the right kind
of routine. It is not forgetting that you are a couple first and put everything
else above each other. That is what makes you panic.
Maybe you do not hold hands anymore while walking through
the mall but maybe that is because you are carrying luggage or holding the
child’s hands. It is never that serious.
Or is it?
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