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When the honeymoon is over

09 July 2015, 18:58 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - When you revert back to routine.

At times when the honey moon period in a relationship is over a lot of people read it as not loving each other anymore. Some get confused and feel that maybe it is time to end the relationship because a lot of people live off the high of it. That is one half, the other half decide it is time they settled anyway-that is in a relationship. If they are married, they now realize it is about time they started being serious anyway. That is when a lot of couples start having the talk-bills, plans and mapping of the future, that sought of thing.

That is the routine I am talking about.

The honey moon period of very relationship or marriage is when the high ends for everyone. At times not everyone though! There is that one person in that relationship who will still be up there and make it uncomfortable for the other one in A LOT of cases. They are the ones who will read it as the other person falling out of love, care or the relationship. They will struggle to bring it back to the honey moon stage. Sending love texts and quotes like the other one used to (the whole day, even while you are both at the same table). A lot of PDA which is very uncomfortable and if you push them away they sulk the whole day. Unexpected surprises like anniversaries you did not even know about. That extra mile, that is meant in good will but makes you uncomfortable.

At times, as a couple or maybe as an individual you need to learn to read when it ends us just that and not make it out as something more than that. That is what might just make you comfortable enough around each other and ensure you are in a fulfilling and satisfying relationship.

You used to go for dinner every weekend, or at least three times a night, so what if you do not feel like doing it the next time and want to just stay in. It does not mean that you like each other any less, just that you are tired from running around 24/7 and when you get that one night off, TV looks good.

Maybe your boyfriend used to cook your favorite meal once a week, he does not do that since you moved in. Does that mean he likes you less? Does that mean now that he has gotten you in his ‘trap’ he does not want to put in any effort? Just look at it as a shift, he might not be doing that one thing anymore but maybe he is doing three more things that shows he still cares ever since you started living together. It might be helping with chores or ordering in when he sees you are tired. Or even not letting you foot your share of expenses- that is just another way of showing he still cares. Maybe not with spaghetti but it still works if you do not concentrate on spaghetti too much. But if you want him to cook spaghetti it is always as easy as asking. Let him say no rather than you assuming things in your head.

If you are married, routine is not completely forgetting about each other. You should never forget but keep reminding each other. If you forgot to go out last week, go out this weekend. If your favorite restaurant closed down, look for a new place to explore together. That is the right kind of routine. It is not forgetting that you are a couple first and put everything else above each other. That is what makes you panic.

Maybe you do not hold hands anymore while walking through the mall but maybe that is because you are carrying luggage or holding the child’s hands. It is never that serious.

Or is it?

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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