When is the right time for sex talk?
02 December 2014, 17:25
Nairobi - In this day and age of sexual violence and assault against
the female gender, it is quite understandable to understand the panic mode that
most parents are currently on when it comes to their daughters. Because what it
looks like is that no matter how she behaves, dresses, talks or carries herself
she is still going to be the target to someone not only outside their circles
but also within the circles.
There is only so much that you can do as a
parent but at the end of the day you still are going to blame yourself for
whatever happens to your daughter no matter how out of reach you really were
when a certain situation arose.
There is not much
that you will be able to do once they are out of your sight but there is much
you can do to inform your child on when right is right or wrong is wrong and
they should not allow it. I am not talking about the violence they encounter
out there but what happens when you daughter or child is taken advantage of by
those closest to them as they were not even aware they were being assaulted.
So, when should
parents really have the sex talk with their children? I know for a fact that
most of the African parents would rather choke on a dime rather than confront
this conversation head on but it is something that should be done in order to
counter future cases of vulnerabilities for your child. Look at it as a tool of
self-empowerment for them rather than something that makes them aware of that
which they should be ignorant of.
We avoid sex talk
with even teenagers and leave it to our 8-4-4 system to do its part when they
reach standard eight but what of the years before that because it is not only
teenagers who have now been prey to pedophile predators but also those under
the age of ten. It might make you uncomfortable, it might even be happening
right now without you being aware of the abuse your child is facing but put it
down to their innocence, they are still learning what is right from wrong from
those you have placed them in their care. Their outlook would be that it is
acceptable as long as the person who takes care of me does it. They will not
see it as defilement because you have not taught them that it is so.
So as a
parent, you should now learn to step out of your comfort zone and talk to your
child and their bodies a long with their privacy rights. Talk to them about
sex, why they should not engage in it or allow anyone any
‘touching’ rights. Make them comfortable to confide in you and talk about their
day and how it was spent, you might learn a lot just from a few minute
conversation and not doing homework.
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