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When is the right time for sex talk?

02 December 2014, 17:25 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - In this day and age of sexual violence and assault against the female gender, it is quite understandable to understand the panic mode that most parents are currently on when it comes to their daughters. Because what it looks like is that no matter how she behaves, dresses, talks or carries herself she is still going to be the target to someone not only outside their circles but also within the circles.

There is only so much that you can do as a parent but at the end of the day you still are going to blame yourself for whatever happens to your daughter no matter how out of reach you really were when a certain situation arose.

There is not much that you will be able to do once they are out of your sight but there is much you can do to inform your child on when right is right or wrong is wrong and they should not allow it. I am not talking about the violence they encounter out there but what happens when you daughter or child is taken advantage of by those closest to them as they were not even aware they were being assaulted.

So, when should parents really have the sex talk with their children? I know for a fact that most of the African parents would rather choke on a dime rather than confront this conversation head on but it is something that should be done in order to counter future cases of vulnerabilities for your child. Look at it as a tool of self-empowerment for them rather than something that makes them aware of that which they should be ignorant of.

We avoid sex talk with even teenagers and leave it to our 8-4-4 system to do its part when they reach standard eight but what of the years before that because it is not only teenagers who have now been prey to pedophile predators but also those under the age of ten. It might make you uncomfortable, it might even be happening right now without you being aware of the abuse your child is facing but put it down to their innocence, they are still learning what is right from wrong from those you have placed them in their care. Their outlook would be that it is acceptable as long as the person who takes care of me does it. They will not see it as defilement because you have not taught them that it is so.

So as a parent, you should now learn to step out of your comfort zone and talk to your child and their bodies a long with their privacy rights. Talk to them about sex, why they should not engage in it or allow anyone any ‘touching’ rights. Make them comfortable to confide in you and talk about their day and how it was spent, you might learn a lot just from a few minute conversation and not doing homework.

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