When he only wants sex
12 March 2015, 15:16
Nairobi - Friends with benefits type of situations are never a
good idea for women; because no matter what agreement you have with her at the
beginning she has got into that situation with expectations. Most of the
time it is usually hoped that it will develop into something more later, because
the guy will see how great a person she really is and decide to keep her to
himself. That rarely if ever happens.
It usually starts with a conversation where the man will
clearly say that he is not looking for anything serious. The woman on the other
hand will agree to the same but at the back of her mind she is thinking that
she will change his mind. Which of course does not happen. So the man will ask
what she wants and instead of her taking the high road, she agrees to a sex
only situation. Of course being the man, he will not pass it up unless you
really are not his type and don’t do anything for his libido. A few months down
the line, the tables are turned and the man is confused because he does not
understand what is happening. She sulks if he takes other women out or talks
about them because he is thinking, ’si
we are just friends.’ Jealousy, possessiveness and him being her man yet he is
sure they agreed in the beginning that they are just having sex. If you are a man,
just know that you are not just having sex, it escalates. No woman just has sex with you because when
you are with that individual you are hoping to get something from them.
If it is not your
money, your contacts or business then be sure that she is after you. Of course
we both have needs seeing as we are both healthy but unhealthy attachment comes
with a woman being intimate with a man. That is just basic biology.
If you are a woman on the other hand and what you are aiming
for in a relationship is not what you signed up for then you do not have any
other person to blame other than yourself. If you want someone who will take
you out to dinner rather than one who only wants to see you behind closed doors
then get into a contract with that agreement. Do not be angry because he does
not call or send a good morning text like he does with Alison yet you he only
texts when he wants to come over. Do not sign a contract with a set of rules
that you do not want then cry foul when the terms are not changing a few months
down the line.
If you are in that type of situation right now, and you want
it to change then open your mouth and speak. Chances are the conversation will
not go the way you want it to. With him on a bended knee begging you to stay,
most probably he will just tell you he is not interested and that is because he
was never interested in the first place. That is why you are not his girlfriend
but his friends with benefits.
Friens with benefits are also not a good idea for women
because you are the one who is always left with the after effects of your night
time interactions. You are the one that has to take pills that he does not buy
because he is not your boyfriend. You are the one who gets pregnant and remain
with the child that both of you had not planned for. Trying to trick him into a
long term commitment with a child will only get you to be his baby’s mother. If
he does not want you for a wife now, he has reasons and they do not fade simply
because you got yourself in a situation.
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