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When bad sex reigns

16 September 2014, 15:40 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Why is that good man, putting up with that very defective woman and why is that woman putting up with that douchebag boyfriend of hers or man? Great sex; awesome, great sex can prolong the dumbest, most ill-conceived and unhealthy relationships, while horrible sex can lead to a downward trail of the best relationships.

I am not saying that relationships are just about sex but it’s a key factor when you are with someone, in some cases it is what led you there in the first place. How do you know you are having bad sex, trust me, even the smallest (no pun-intended) of things come up:


The one with the lights off

Some people can never take their clothes off in the light of day or at night with the lights on. That just boils down to a lack of self-confidence. I say if someone is there with you, they most probably don’t give two cents about your stretch marks, fatty thighs…, because they are already there.


Lack of spontaneity, never outside the bedroom, and no foreplay; you just want to get on with it and sleep. You even undress under the covers, only the pants come off, the t-shirt with the ugly tagline stays on.

You are way too much in your head

 If the sex you are having allows you to multi-task: arrange the meeting you are to have, pick an outfit for the day, remember to email that supplier you forgot to and remember to M-Pesa that relative- that is horrible sex. You are just going through the motions. By the time you are done, you are drained, not from physical exertion but from how you have just realized how busy the next day is.

No give and take

 This just covers everything. You do not tell your partner what you want, they do not ask, do not care and just want to get off. No oral, or you just give but never receive because you are working under the assumption that it is a give and receive. Both of you think you are the best, so nothing new there. Like I always say, each person is different you need to know how to make them tick.

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