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When a woman you know takes your man

03 December 2014, 17:37 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Is it so wrong when you take another woman’s man? He is either the boyfriend of the friend, the family friend, the sister, a relative…those are the ones that usually hurt because they are your closest associations.

Is the man worth it? That is the point that you should really sit down and think about because at times he really just isn’t. At the end of the day, why ruin really good relationships for something that will burn out after the spark has faded out. The rule is, if you are going to steal another woman’s man, you might as well make it work and make sure that the two of you do not look like fools a few months later.

That is where the difference between Alicia Keys and Jennifer Lopez lies. Alicia has stuck it out no matter how horrible it may be for her, she does not want to look the fool after stealing someone else’s man. On the other hand J-Lo stole Mark Anthony but look how that ended. In this case it is the man who lost because soon enough she moved onto other game.

It happens all the time and the worst is when you become the second wife or the mistress on the side, because believe you me, the clueless friend or sister may not be too clueless. Thing is, men do realize when they are being shortchanged and that is why many women never want to introduce their men to the family or friends because even family can never be truly trusted. Look at it this way, why settle for the minivan when you can have the range rover. No man wants the woman who is the second grade of her closest associations that he has met because he will also feel like he also lost. The ego does not and will never like that. He will sit and watch and notice that the female he is with is the follower and soon enough, he would like to have the leader of the pack. That is where your sister, friend or relative comes in and women too do not like to lose.

You may try to make it seem aright that maybe he was never really meant for you and he is not worth it but at the end of the day relationships are like any other game and no one ever likes being the loser. And being reminded when the trophy is constantly in display. There has always been a code but truth be told no one ever really follows it especially when it comes to something that they really want.  I would never really go after my sister’s man, but she probably would go after mine because at the end of the day I make better choices than she ever has. Will I give her an opportunity to do so, maybe, maybe not but I will damn her if she ever tried and it is something that is quite non-negotiable. We women are territorial in that way too.

What about a friends? That is 50/50 because I think I have trust issues and women are the last people I would completely trust. I would not because I still maintain I make better choices and I do not want a man that my friend has been with as I know her unhinged aspects but I do know many friends that would not think twice about it. Because in the race at being the best you always want what you cannot have, is better than what you currently have or is just out of your league. That is what makes for uncomfortable relations and family gatherings. Because so and so is now married to whoever’s ex-boyfriend or ex-husband.

Where do you lie on this?

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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