What to do when you fall out of love
16 February 2015, 15:48
Nairobi - There are people who are in love with being in love rather than in love with the person they are with. In layman’s terms; they are with a person that they do not like but they like the feeling of being in a relationship at least.
Some people are at the moment, with a placeholder boyfriend/girlfriend- the one they keep around until their ‘soul mate’ arrives. Or the partner who they are just with because nothing better came along. Others just like the feeling of having that person around because they would rather not be alone. Either way, they are never losing but the other person is because they are never aware of hat that other person is thinking.
Most of all, what most of us like doing is trying to stick it out in a situation that we can clearly see is not working out for both parties, or maybe just you because your partner may be in a lover’s bliss and you are not sure how they will take it. We want to stick it out because at the moment we can afford to play our roles since nothing else has come along. Falling out of love or let us call it affection is a thing that actually happens.
You just wake up one morning or maybe the two of you are having a conversation and you suddenly look at your partner and it is like you are seeing a completely different person. At times you just become harsh in your thoughts and you are wondering what it is that you found about them in the first place. In such instances, you are not desperate yet, you figure that maybe you are having a bad day and you are being quite rude.
So the next time your partner tries to initiate some intimacy and you do not want to then that is when you get into panic mode. Because you do not want to, they want to and you are not sure of how to get out of it. It is not a thing that only men do because women too can fall out of love, only difference is that we try to look for situations to explain the laps. Maybe it is that time of the month, or you tell yourself that you are stressed and will actually get better but the answer never comes up and you are now an emotional cheater. In your head you know you are done with the relationship you just do not know how to tell this other person.
You feel terrible because you catch yourself flirting with other people. Now that you do not care what they think, you dress however you want and do not screen you words before they get out of your mouth because what you are hoping for is that they will be the ones to make the decision for you. You work at avoiding them; you would rather spend the day with that person you both hated than them as long as it is not them. The mother of it all is when you cannot have sex with them; because to be honest faking wanting to have sex and enjoying it with someone that you no longer like is a little bit harder for a lot of people. That is when the arguments start. You are not cheating but this other person thinks that you are and you are not going to explain to them. In fact you are hoping that they get the hint.
Do someone a favor to day and stop wasting their time if you are not interested but are just keeping them around because you are idle. Women are much braver than men and will simply try to end things but they are much harder at taking the news because in their head they can fix it. Trying to fix a situation where someone tells you they no longer want you is doing a disservice to yourself, he will keep you around but when his Porsche arrives he will give you the packing papers no matter what you do, have done or did.
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