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What is your perfect man like ladies?

12 September 2014, 17:28 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There is that list that people make up, not only women but men too, where they jot down what their expectations are of their future spouse. For women, no, am going to go with girls, it is usually an ideal of what Disney and Mills and Boon taught you. A woman normally grows into herself and realizes it was all a hoax. The men, just go with qualities they admired in another woman, not necessarily a mother.

Rarely is that list ever fulfilled. And at times the list is just plain dumb and fictitious, if you probably told it to someone else they would look at you with complete awe.

When you eventually end up with someone you just keep telling yourself you compromised.

Sociologists from New York University, did a study between short and tall men and how that has a direct impact on the success of their marriage. According to this study, shorter men have a better chance at a successful marriage as compared to taller men.

Seems too generalized because even I have the insight to say such findings never apply to everyone. But reading on a lot of what they say makes sense.  According to the study, shorter men marry a lot later than taller men. Reason being, as their counterparts are being rushed to the altar and they are being overlooked, the shorter man instead focuses on making his money and bettering himself. These guys also are more likely to marry the less-educated and younger woman. Then when he has the ring on your finger, he exchanges his breadwinner role for less housework and imposes his masculinity through traditional gender roles as compared to what made them be overlooked in the first place, not being tall enough.

Read also: 4 sex tips for virgins

As I said earlier this does not apply to everyone but it is quite interesting how the sociologists made a spin-off on this making me agree with them. My list of a future spouse, does not have a prerequisite of you being tall enough to make the cut. What am I.....5”4? Anyone above that is obviously taller than I am. But I would want to be with someone dependable, and if the guy is a few feet shorter than the 6 foot, but is stable and is aware what family life is about, I will obviously compromise to his level.

The taller guy, according to this study, seems to want to exchange his better anthropomorphic qualities for a better educated woman, who will still come to the house and do everything else at the end of the day herself.

If we are going to impose traditional roles on each other, then I should call out all African men. Because, right now, most will keep arguing out how, today’s African woman, does not know how to take care of the home. She wants to get a house help to do everything. What is wrong with that? Because at the end of the day, or month, you will come and stare at me telling me to split the bills with you. So, if we are leaving the house together in the morning, and coming back together in the evening; where do you think I have been? Because you want to act like you have been in a coal mine digging the whole day while what I have been doing is inconsequential but should be able to pay rent, split for the school fees and food. Then as you sit on the couch, I start cleaning the house while making sure the pot does not boil over.

That study, makes a lot of sense, but not applying it to tall versus short because even short men can be douche-bag lay-abouts.  What it truly pin-points out for me, is how, the educated woman who works for her family is still expected to fulfill her traditional role while the man decides to do nothing at all and sits back. Little wonder ours decided to legalize polygamy, get one from ‘ushago’ to do housework, then get the educated one to take care of the household. Re-evaluate your list then decide what is more important versus what you just need to boost your ego.

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