What if your husband was your boss?
18 August 2015, 15:01
What if your husband was your boss?
Would it work or not?
One would let the other win. Not as spouses. But it would be
either the marriage works and the career suffers. Or your career suffers and
the marriage works.
That is why all people who have romantic entanglements are
advised to not continue working together. If you have been trying to make your
relationship work under this circumstances then you will understand why there
is a strain. No one will openly talk about it between the two of you because no
one wants to be the bad guy. No one wants to be the one that is holding back
the other person’s career. No one wants to say what they are actually thinking
because you do not want your spouse to take it negative. If you say it, there
is always that feeling at the back of their mind, are they jealous of me? Why
don’t they want me to improve?
It works in the beginning but that tension builds and you do
not want to be the one to burst it. If left for a long while either you will
lose your career or lose your husband, take a pick!
You normally focus on the little things like, what will
everybody else think? Am I being favored above the rest? Truth is you most
probably because everybody will tiptoe around you so that it does not get to
the boss and they get fired or there is some passive aggressive action like
them getting horrible tasks for what they do to you.
Go back to the home ground and take it out of the office. At
times, you want to ask for advice from your husband like other wives do. You
can’t because you two came up with a stupid rule about not bringing work at
home. So it is still a problem. You feel frustrated.
If you are passed up on a promotion at work, you think,
maybe it is their doing so that you spend more time at home and not at work. When
you are passed up on the bigger roles, your line of reasoning takes the same
course. You think that, he does not want me to get it because I will spend less
time at home during the duration of the project. Which can be true.
There will always be a conflict of interest because no
matter how much you tell yourself you agreed that they will not interfere with
your work, they are going to think like a husband. He knows what the role
entails. How many times you will have to take work trips and not be at home.
Who you are going to be working with and are they philanderers. Are you going
to have time for him and your children? Or are you going to be an absentee wife
When the decision is made and you stay stagnant at work,
this are the same questions going through your mind. You do not ask them
because you are betting on honesty and trust. Everyone else around you knows it
and senses it but they are not going to be the ones to bring it up. The tension
builds and with it, your marriage also suffers.
You let it because you are trying to cling to both yet it is
not working. One rule, when you are married, do not let your husband be your
boss if you want your marriage to work. Take the conflict of interest out of
the way because it is going to be there whether you admit it or not.
It ruins a good marriage because it makes you doubt your
husband. It makes you be passive aggressive towards them at home because of
imagined slights from work. You will carry your work home, whether you like it
or not. You will want to share your issues with them and when you can’t, it
will make you angry. You will look for that at some place else. Another man and
that is how castles start falling.
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