What do you want in a relationship?
16 July 2015, 18:39
Nairobi - Some of us. Some of you, for all your dedication in finding
the ‘one’ you do not even know what you want.
And just from that, you do frustrate your partner-the one you
have at the moment by making them run around the circles that you keep drawing
and erasing. At some point you confuse them and they wonder if it is them or
just you. This is when people say,’ he/ she changed!’
Just a simple test, nothing serious. Something to let us
know if you are the black sheep. Consider over the past few months or even over
the course of a whole year, how many partners have you changed? If we want to
be progressive we can also consider how many partners you have had since you
started ‘seriously’ dating. I am not a mathematician but am sure if you look at
your own numbers you will have a bright clue on where you stand.
We will not consider the usual because who does not want a
caring, reliable, responsible or smart and intelligent person as their partner?
We all do. So your list should not have things such as hard working,
cooperative and compromising as your needs because we all need and want the
same. If we all have such a list then it means the partners that we want and
are looking for are easily interchangeable and replaceable. But we know it is not because
it heavily relies more on your personality, habits and character among other
So when you look at the things you are considering in the
person who should be your partner, do you even have an idea or did you just
One minute this person suited you well enough and the next
you want them out of your house and out of your life. One minute they are
ticking all the boxes that you had put down but you are no longer ‘feeling’
them that much so you end it. What is wrong?
I will tell you. You are wrong.
You do not know what you want. In turn it is causing you to
choose partners that are actually ready to be something with you but because
you are not sure, you make them chase their tail in efforts of figuring out how
to make it work with you.
The worst thing that you and do to a person or people is
picking them up and throwing them down like dirty socks every time they are
around. You were with a person, broke up
with them, you ran the mile and did not find anything so because they are still
single, you convince them that you are ready to try again. They put in time,
energy, effort and all their heart into it just for you to wake up again and
say, ‘this is not working like I hope it would!’ So what do you want them to do
with that? They might have passed up some good rib eye for your miserable flank
for you to waste them again? That is how people get stabbed.
To avoid all that and for you to stop just sit down and
really think about it. Go on a few dates, no, not be in a few monthly
relationships. I have said dates. Be alone. Whichever helps you figure it out.
In the end, you will be a lot happier in being in something (s) that was more
meaningful even though it did not last than something meaningless that makes
you more frustrated.
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