Ways to solve relationship conflict
15 September 2014, 12:31
Nairobi - Talking to your partner may prove to be the hardest of all
tasks for most people.
Set a time and date
Some people just
start to bring up key issues at a time when their partner was not prepared for
them. They were either pre-occupied with something else that you are not aware
of. This is when as a partner you start telling yourself that they are not
taking you seriously. Yet the tactic you used is what let you down. When
someone comes from work, do not immediately bombard them with issues. Let them
chill, give them space, and when they are finally done, tell them there are
some things you need to sought out, and ask when would they like to talk.
This way, they will
be more open minded to what you have to say and they will be more likely to
Have the conversation in a neutral space
Other people just cannot talk to each other without shouting
at each other and throwing things. In the end no-one gets their point across.
For such a couple, it is better to arrange to go out for lunch or coffee, that
way the embarrassment of such behavior will induce each party to behave. No one
is allowed to walk away though unless it gets insulting or abusive.
Read also: Good Kenyan men end up with foreign women
One thing that may
make a partner not anticipate to have any conversation to sought things out is
when you keep reminding them of what they did at that time yet they promised
they would change and they did. It is only legit if they keep hurting you the
same way over and over again.
Watch your non-verbal cues
Others just make you
angry from the way they respond; scoffing, rolling eyes, making sounds. You
wonder if you are dating an overgrown child. It may not be an outright insult
but it is downright disrespectful. When you do such, even I would not want to
talk to you.
Bringing other people into your relationships
Always listening to
what other people say instead of what your partner has to say may be
detrimental. Maybe you should be in a relationship with them. Obviously there
is good advice, but there can be harmful advice as well. You need to be able to
know how to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Read also: Who should pay on a date?
Watch your tone
Obviously when you
start in an accusatory, disrespectful, belittling tone; this person will not be
interested in what you have to say. They just close-off even if they were
initially open-minded. Avoid this by
avoiding escalation when you keep things bottled inside over a long period of
Obviously this is not an accurate map but a guideline. Each
person is different. Thus, you should be able to know what would work for them.
Does not apply only to man-woman relationships but any kind of relationship.
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