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Ways of dealing with rejection

11 June 2015, 13:50 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  Whether it’s a job application, going for the interview itself, a woman, a man, your girlfriend or boyfriend rejecting your proposal. No one can rise above that muck and say how dignified they felt afterward. You can act dignified but you are most certainly not feeling it inside.

Also, no one can claim to have ever skipped this part, we have all been rejected at one point or another. Whether you are the most beautiful, most talented, or you thought you were most qualified. There is just someone who will think that you are really not the right fit for the job.

If you have never experienced it then you have been living in a dome all by your lonesome self!

When it is a job that you went for an interview for and did not get the call back, you cannot call or let’s say, text. You cannot text them back and tell them what they are missing. Or how good you are and they have gotten the wrong person for the job. You cannot call them at odd hours of the night to plead with them to rethink their decision. This are all things we do when it comes to dating and relationships.

Some of you do not even know when they are being rejected. The people who take it harder are those that think that anyone would be lucky to have them, to see them. Someone who overlooked the other parties who showed interest but they were rebuffed because they had someone else in mind. Only for them to get a resounding no. So when someone is giving them excuses like, ‘I am busy’, ‘I cannot talk right now’. I do not know what they say when they do not reply a text but it is usually a no reply; that the other party creates excuses for. There is also nothing dignified about trying to sweeten the pot by selling yourself cheaply so that they can rethink their decision.

Doing things that in other circumstances you could have never done or going the extra mile just so you hope, they will finally see! In most cases, they never do see anything.

At one point, I will be the first to admit, I do ignore the signs. I will ignore other men because when it comes to relations I am not really good at multitasking. You invest yourself so hard in this other person who is really not interested.

What I am telling you, is, learn to find dignity in that small quiet place you call your subconscious and see the signs. They are usually there. At times, the person is not playing coy, or playing hard to get or trying to gauge your interest! At times they are just being honest and truthful by being brutally disinterested.

They can give you excuses but it is usually your fault when you do not listen to you. Does not matter if they say they are unhappy, dissatisfied, and not ready for anything (everyone is always ready just wait until they find their target and see how ready they get). Key rule to always look out for it, if they go out of their way to spend time with you and or talk to you and know about you.

On the other hand, there are those people I just never understand. You have dated for years and the man proposes but the woman refuses. Yes, it is not dignifying but why was the woman wasting both of their time by being in that relationship if she knew she did not want to be with this guy. If you know that he is not what you want in a husband, tell him! Do not wait until the man goes all out, especially in public, then you refuse. What were you waiting for all those years? He is getting older, and so are you! You should have let him know so that he could look for a different cherry to pop in my opinion.

In such a case you are obligated to agree to the proposal and only have the talk in private. Then carry on the charade for a while and break it off amicably. Never cheapen anyone’s dignity or pride in the other way. It is that simple.

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