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Want a busy man? Don't crave attention

21 July 2015, 18:28 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - To put it simple busy men have work to do while idle men have nothing to do.

Initially, this article started out with the boring title,’ when is the right time to call?’ I might actually still do that one but while compiling the contents of that article I just had one constant that could not go away.

You need to adhere to some strict rules when it comes to dealing with a busy man as compared to an idle one. To put it simple busy men have work to do while idle men have nothing to do. A busy man can have meetings from 5 in the morning up until 10 in the night-you are not even allowed to throw a tantrum because he did not notice your text. The phone was switched off because he was busy.

You want a man that is hardworking, is making his way in life and being successful, having a lucrative job and being well paid; well, that is what you have to put up with. Not hearing from them for days and I am not even talking hours. No dates even on weekends because money never sleeps. So even if that man gets a few hours in his day to ‘squeeze’ you in, chances are he will not even be paying attention to you or what is going on with you. Social etiquette dictates that you do not use your phone at the table but chances are he will pay more attention to it than to your face. That man will not notice that you have lost weight, bought a new dress or that your hair is different, those serve as the most mundane things in his life and may not be on his list unless he is a fashion buyer.

What about surprises and giving you that certain oomph that you were hoping for when you got into the relationship? If he puts his mind to it-maybe but do not invest your dreams on that either. You want a relationship with a man that is running his own business? Then let me tell you, be prepared to be in a threesome. Have you ever seen in a movie, read in a book/ magazine or a scene in porn when a guy is proposing a threesome, the girlfriend is usually neglected and an afterthought? That is the reality of the picture. The order is: business-1 and girlfriend-2. The business’ needs are met first then the girlfriend’s needs come second like, ‘oh, I almost forgot. I actually do have one of those.’ It is not that he is trying to be an emotional pariah and create an emotional wreck of you; it is just the way things are-nothing personal at all.

That is why most men who are actually self-made and doing things on their own terms, have women that are on the same level because she does not have to question anything. Just as he is not checking his phone, she is not expecting any interruption as small as that as well. Just as she does not have time, he does not have time either. Just as he needs to clear a schedule to get something social done, so does she.

If you are someone that craves and needs attention; that is most certainly why you attract men who are able to give that to you; idlers. They have all the time in the world to cater to your needs. Call you after every five minutes. Stand around listening to a tantrum and be amused by it. An idler will not have as much money as you would have hoped your boyfriend to have or ambition and potential but if he is what you need to keep you emotionally stable; you will most certainly get that. You may end up paying for the date or going dutch but at least he is not such a ‘workaholic’. Or such a dishrags that forgets to return your phone call/ text.

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