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Two wrongs don't make a right

22 July 2015, 11:42 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - If you drink, I bet you that you know what the hair of the dog is. In Kenyan terms ‘kutoa lock’. And for those who do not drink, this is when you have a hangover from an alcohol binge and in order to ‘cure’ this, you have another drink. This might be why your colleague may be having alcohol breath early in the morning.

But it made me think how when we have a problem, we tend to look for a solution by creating another problem. It is just us being alcoholics but in a different form.

In business, it is failing and not doing so well. It is falling around your ears but because you rely on that prosperity that you have gained and maintaining that image. Most people like to live a lie once they have experienced the reality of something good. So instead of cutting back on the costs that you no longer need, you decide, ‘what I need is an injection of cash’. Because most people do not like giving up part ownership in their company, they get a loan. It works for some but not for most, especially when you already knew that it was a sellout. Now you have two problems that you need to solve. A bank that you need to pay off and a company that you are still trying to save. If only!

How about your personal life? Last week you needed a vacation so instead of paying the mortgage, you went and used that money, if the bank is not lucky enough to get a direct cut from your paycheck. Or maybe, you are self-employed and do not have a paycheck anyway. Now you can no longer keep up because of the extras that just come with living. So now you have to pay off a loan you took out at work to offset a mortgage payment you neglected and the burden becomes twofold as compared to what it was before.

You see a man that is experiencing marital problems in his home, with his one wife. Maybe another man will look for outside help or go for counselling but not your regular Kenyan man. These ones work differently. He will not even get a replacement, for him he just gets another one, another woman, who will not be stressing him as much and he can ignore the wife. If this one starts to misbehave, he gets himself another one and forgets the other one. For him, it is just a cycle of life until he gets tired and by then he is sixty and does not really care what you all decide to do with yourselves.

The women on the other hand work differently. Unlike the man who is thinking of the women and the one need they serve, the woman is thinking of the one man and the many needs he serves. Needs in terms of bills. The one for rent, the one for taking care of the children because the dad is a deadbeat, and the many many needs that women do have. You as her man are not taking care of her, and women take that adage, ‘once bitten, twice shy’ very seriously. She will not be leaving you to replace you with other men but she will stay with you and apportion those responsibilities you are neglecting. That is how the problem is created. You know there are others but you are still clueless as to where they fit in her life. That is none of our business though. Neither is it any of mine.

Just as drinking to stop the headache from a hangover is a bad idea, so are all of the above solutions to your problem. You know it but you are still going to do it anyway!

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