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Tips to dating the younger man

29 September 2014, 15:16 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - The thing about dating someone who is significantly older than you is that there is always going to be a question mark at the back of everyone’s mind even you. Most of you will say it is about you and the person you are in the relationship with but we all know that is a lie.

Take for example our own Wambui and Mbugua headliner. Anyway, it was all sunny and roses up until Wambui died and left Mbugua behind. That is when reality hit him. Last I heard he had been ousted from the house by her daughters. That is when you realize a relationship will always have outsiders looking in just waiting like vultures while the good, bad and ugly unravel.

So what is the good or the bad in such a relationship? It is more hectic when the woman is older but also, when the guy is significantly older it creates ripple.

Immaturity is always going to be an issue

Obviously when the woman is older this is going to be very obvious. How younger guys operate is definitely different from the way an older woman will. From where she wants to ‘hang-out’ to the friend she keeps. Even it might be a little bit too hard for him to sit down and converse with her friends. He will most probably be texting or chatting with his friends figuring out where they can ‘hook up’ for the evening. It may even become uncomfortable for her to invite him out with her friends because one of the parties will end up being ignored the entire time. Works both ways though even for younger females dating 40+ men, and she is 22 she will definitely not want to talk about the latest on the stock market. Lack of any life experience or relevant issues will always rear its head.

Read also: Positions women like

Outsiders looking in

Mother, sisters, aunts, relatives …the men are usually less concerned either because they think it is phase and it will run out or they really just do not care. Mothers and sisters are the worst, they will never lack a comment for anything. For the guys, it is the younger model comment, while for the women, cougar comments, all are offensive but you have to deal with. Worst part is, it is the people who are meant to support your decisions that are going to be hurling insults at you. If you are not strong enough then leave it be because outsiders looking in will keep looking for ways to take you out.

Mother Nature is never too kind

Wambui eventually died and left Mbugua alone, most probably he was prepared. Then there are just other logistics you have to figure out. Let us assume you are looking at long-term, older person is 45+ years of age. At that point in time, either they already had kids and closed that chapter or they just do not want any. If you are younger and looking to have some kids then this is something else to be discussed. If you are a man dating an older woman, that chapter may definitely have already closed, the biological clock never stops ticking.

Some good may come of it, the older may act as a mentor to the younger person, teach them a thing or two about life; the older person may be inspired by the younger person’s youth to try out new experiences. But that ends there, the cons seem to outweigh the pros, in other words you better have a stronger back, because such a relationship carries a lot of baggage especially for the older person.

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