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The main problem with women is women

13 February 2015, 14:24 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  One thing about us women is that we like comparisons; between us and other women. We compare how beautiful she is when we line ourselves against her, we compare how much her outfit could have cost against what we have on, how pretty her shoes are, and then as we grow older we become even more competitive. We want to be the one most successful, the one with the amazing husband and kids, with the perfect house in the perfect suburb. We never get tired, just like men like to push for the best, we push for the same but we always end up getting it wrong.

You see, the difference between us and men, is that men have an uncanny knack of being able to tell a fake that he does not need to compete against from the real deal guy that he can do much better than. As compared to us women, we never can look past the façade that someone places in front of us making it much easier for us to be duped by the fools. That is why we always fail. In a world where women deal with a lot of insecurities about themselves we are always duped by the fakes. Have a certain type of hair, dress a certain type of way, wear make-up a certain way so that I can just look like Sharon( not that Sharon Mundia is fake because she really is pretty) problem is not all of you can afford those Nouba lipsticks but you settle for the fakes. Either way, the fact that we can never tell the real deal from the fakes is why we constantly fail.

For example my friend has a friend who has a boyfriend whom she thinks is below negative 0 ( if that is even a thing)- he has no job, no career prospects, did not go to school, is a cheater and just gives her friend a hard time when they are together. They broke up, but early this year, got together and now the friend is pregnant. Now my friend is really angry at this development and is cursing up and down. She is trying to advise her friend not to let this man back into her life because he is a low-life. Problem with this picture is that my friend has her share of low-lifes in her life too, so there is no way her friend will listen to the advice because in her head she is probably thinking ‘what about your low-lifes, what are you doing about them?

What you get off this is that this two friends have learnt to compare what either of them has in their life and since the other ones situation is not all that good, she looks at hers as being way better when it actually is not. In other words this women are basically loosing when it comes to love and relationships yet they are not aware of it because they are comparing against fakes that a man could spot a mile away.

I am not saying that as women, we should learn to be content with our lot in life and not strive for better. In fact what you should do is have a protégé that you can redesign yourself against but at least let it not be a fake but be original about it. Do not look for the fake Louis Vuitton because your boss showed up to work with it. Or take out a loan, get a Mercedes yet be paying rent at the KES 30000 house, that is just redundant and that is what most of us women do.

It also applies to the men that we date and interact with; her boyfriend works at the Ministry of Lands. I will do her one better and get one at Foreign Affairs never mind that he might be the messenger as long as he said he works there that is good enough for you. A few years down the line you are left wondering why the both of you are never moving; still stuck in the bedsitter, the cheques are not getting better and you are still walking to work. 

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