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The grass is never greener in relationships

23 October 2015, 18:05 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - People are so competitive. Competitive with their careers, their work, their money and what they do with it, their lifestyle and now even relationships are competitive. How?

Acquaintances ask me why I think I can give people advice on relationships and sex when I am single and I tell them, didn't you know? Single people are the most objective!’ I even know more about the couples than they do themselves.

Competition is good but it is a sad state when you forget who you are in the relationship with and end up losing in the end.

He did this for her; she does this for him why can’t you do it like them. You are bringing issues that were never even there in the first place to your relationship. Take stock of where you were before you were with your partner and then think to yourself if you really need to push for the extra that you see the other person gets.

For example, let us start with the ladies; you see your friend was bought for a new car last week. You knew that he has a good job and they are doing okay. But a car, as a present, why can’t I get that? Then you give your man a dirty look while he is just there unaware that you feel like pouring that soapy water all over him on that couch he is lazying on.  Think first though, I am not saying that you are not justified but if he has the means and you think you should get a car, by all means either pour the soapy water or wear the lingerie. Whichever tickles your fancy! Then there is the other half, your man does not have the means but when you were stuck with rent, he figured it out for you. When you are in a bind, you know he will figure it out for you. He gives you a share of his salary as ‘girlfriend allowance’ which you have probably never gotten in your life. Still feeling like you need a car?

The men too have the same problem, comparing their women to their peers’ women. Telling your women why she cannot dress and keep fit like so and so does not give you bonus points. You found her like that; you should have left her alone. Or your friend tells you that his woman does this for him so you get an attitude because yours has never done that. Men lie too by the way. So you might even be carrying a grudge with your own woman over something that has never happened other than in your friend’s dreams. Then you start looking at someone else’s garden.

Be careful what you wish for because maybe, just maybe the two of you were eyeing each other. You fall into the trap then you realize they are not as good as you had thought. You cannot go back though because your partner realized they deserve someone who will treat them much better than you ever did.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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