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Technological relationships

24 February 2012, 13:31 Dennis Omido

With modernization, civilization and technological development, courage and determination are basically required to propose ones love to a person of the opposite sex.

Traditionally this was not a major requirement as parents used to make engagement plans for their sons and daughters while they were still young in that one grew up knowing the person he or she was going to marry. This has turned out to be something of the past since it does not seem to work anymore.

People get to know each other at schools, parties, work places, on holidays, in churches among other recreational places and hence relate to each other.

Messages and calls from strangers

With the introduction of mobile phones, email addresses and some social sites, people have began relationships and maintained with some resulting into marriages. “I intended to send my friend a short message on my phone, little did I know that I had missed the last digit. Instead of pressing six, I pressed nine,” says Joyce, a businesswoman in Kibera.

She continues to explain how she received a strange call from a person who is now her husband. “He called and appreciated my text, I tried to explain to him that the text was not meant for him but he insisted on seeing me so that I could explain further. Lucky enough he was in Nairobi so we arranged on how we could meet and we began to move on.” Joyce says jovially. Joyce is glad that he found Peter, a single, serious, responsible, caring and loving man in a way that to date she cannot believe.

Lack of guts to face somebody is a limiting factor to many people, especially men. Simon, a father of two says that he could not tell Faith that he had fallen in love with her, instead, he tried to get her number from her friends. He immediately embarked on his mission to woe her. He began to send her love messages but she did not reply. He eventually decided to call her after class to buy her a cup of tea and decided to break the ice to her. “Since he showed me all the messages in his phone’s outbox that he had send to me and also after having known him at college, I could not resist!” states Faith.

Simon admits that without the use of the phone he could not have won Faith’s heart. “It was a difficult task, I tried it several times but my mouth ran dry and fell short of words to express my feelings to her, so I thought this could be a short cut and I am glad that it worked well for me.” He says.

Post offices began to lose clients when emails and social sites were introduced. One would send a letter to a friend or a relative and this could take a number of days to reach the destination. But now dayswith these inventions things have been made easy. People can easily chat on facebook, twitter and skype, moreover they can send photos and other images. There has been an increase in the number of dating sites where people get to register and find couples.

Mary, a Kenyan, met her husband Brook from United States of America on a dating site. After she had registered with the site, Brook was interested in her. He started to contact her and send her his photos as she also replied. He eventually invited her to US. Mary could not believe her eyes when the airplane took off the airport headed to US. On reaching at the airport in the US, Brook was waiting for her arrival. She met him and took her to his home where they are living happily and are blessed with two children, a boy and a girl. “My sister kept on telling me that she will be married to a white man. My friends and I used to make fun of her little did we know that it would come to pass, I thank God for what he did to my sister, globalization and technological development can do wonders!”Exclaims June, Mary’s younger sister.


Flip side of the coin

“While these may be viewed as a good and easier method of getting a partner, precautions have to be taken,” warns Geoffrey Mulamba, a guiding and counseling professional at Kenyatta Hospital. He says that frauders have taken this opportunity to defraude those who are miserable with relationships.

A lady went to him complaining that she had been conned Kshs. 800,000 by an unknown person who she had only known through the internet. In the beginning, she was asked to send the money to process her passport and visa to United Kingdom. After two months, she was told that the travel documents were ready and she had to pay for the shipment.

She complied and sent the money only to be told by the so called boyfriend that he had secured a job in Kenya and he would be landing soon. A week later, the lady received a call from that guy telling her that he had passed through Uganda to secure some deals and promised to bring her surprise gifts. Later in the day, the guy called this lady telling her that the custom officers could not allow him cross the border with all those gifts unless he pays tax. She sent some money since she was assured that one of the gifts was a car. Since then the number that used to call her was unreachable!

James received an email from an unknown person who pretended to know him. It was a lady who wrote that she was an orphan and a refugee in Senegal after the genocide massacre in Rwanda. She claimed that her father was rich and had deposited a lot of money in an international bank, so she wanted James’ help to withdraw the money. “I thought it was dreams come true to me, but when I informed my friend, he told me that those were frauders. She mailed the death certificate and bank statements showing the sum of money that was in the bank account,” says James. James decided to ignore any form of communication from strangers when he knew that they could easily steal from him.

Disclaimer: News24Kenya encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24Kenya.

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