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Taking your best friend's man

22 September 2014, 13:34 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - A rule I personally have is; I do not go after my friends’ boyfriend or ex-boyfriends. Just makes for a very tight situation. Does not matter if they broke up and you ask for permission.  In a world of seven billion people, I'm sure there is one meant for you, you do not have to go after the one that was sacred to that person you call yourself a friend.


So how do you avoid a situation like this coming up?

The guy keeps coming to you/your hour house to discuss their issues

Women are very entrepreneurial when it comes to relationships. They know the right way to expand horizons. If your friend’s man keeps coming to you to help sort out issues, you are not a good friend.  Once is enough but if it becomes a ritual then that is not nice. I am sure the conversation ends with, please do not tell her I came to ask for advice. You should sit your friend down and tell her to sort out issues in her household. You should tell him to go talk to her and shut that door.  But if you are doing the opposite we both know you are not helping them out, but helping you.


Thinking why is she not being nice too her all perfect man

When you are outside the fence looking in, you are fascinated, excited and interested. You look in and think that it is a perfect world on the other side. When you are not experiencingsomething personally, you fault yourself by thinking you can do better. He is perfect in your eyes because you are outside, when you finally get him, that is when you realize it’s a different ball game.

Why do you have a pet name for your friend’s man?

Most women are too blind to catch onto this one. Women like feeling that their friend’s accept the man in their lives. That is okay, because you need to know you have not made a mistake, but a pet name? And you as the friend came up with it all on your own? That is too accepting, and if instead of calling him by his name you use it when he is around, that should send alarm bells ringing. In fact, you should not even use her pet name for him. That is hers not yours, look for your own and call him what you want.

Looking for him in gatherings

You have all gone out for a function, instead of you socializing with other people, you search him out. If she is there, great, but three is a crowd. Do not try to get alone time with your friend’s man, or flirt, subtle touches…

If he leaves her for you, then he will definitely leave you for someone else. If you help him cheat on her with you, then he will cheat on you with someone else. He will feel remorse for what he did to her but not with you, because you had no scruples.

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