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Take a break, it might save your relationship

23 June 2015, 16:40 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I once heard someone ask for a break in a marriage. I am not sure if that is even a possibility because what would they be doing? Be with other people? And if they meet someone, do they say they are married, and taking a break or is that where you present your separated card?

Marriage works so differently from a relationship of boyfriend and girlfriend. In the same, I do not think people take ‘breaks’ in marriages but they can have a trip or two and come back.

On the other hand, taking a break in a relationship might do more good than harm as compared to a marriage.

In a relationship there is always that doubt that that is not the right person for you. In a marriage you are tied forever to that person whether you like it or not-obviously you can get a divorce, but am talking about couples who are actually devoted to one another and committed.

In a relationship, you are still out there no matter how many times you have spent the weekend at his or her house or been at the family functions, the verdict is always still out there. In a relationship you are allowed to second guess the person you are with at the moment because you do not want to make the ultimate mistake of settling with a person you already knew was not meant for you.

Taking breaks is also a hit and miss. The break can either hurt your relationship to no return or it can actually be the thing you needed.

You do not take breaks so that you get the freedom to have non-guilty sex with the co-worker you have been eyeing. You do not use it as an excuse to be flighty and after you are done come back to the relationship until it bores you again. Yo do not take breaks ten times in a one year relationship. Breaks are not meant to get away from every argument but for that one time you are between a rock and hard place but need to make a decision for you. Because as much as people tell you to be considerate and think of the other person, the only way they will also be happy is if you make the right decision for you. It may not be what they wanted but you were honest enough to let them go the right way.

You may meet other people in your break period and that is when you will appreciate your partner’s qualities and they will remind you why you loved them in the first place. Or you will meet other people and they will make you realize you made a wrong choice in terms of a partner. It may also be the time that you realize that you grew and they will not be part of the journey that you are meant to continue.

Taking a break is a way that will open your eyes in ways you ruin your relationship interacting with other people and finding that maybe you are the problem.

It may also be a way of you finding how to build you relationship beyond what it was in it is stale state. What can make it better?

You as an individual, not as a couple will know if it is time for a break because the other partner might not want it. Do not let them dissuade you because in the long run it might be the end of a relationship. If it is something you need, take it!

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