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Submit to him or not?

17 June 2015, 16:56 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -The two get confused all the time especially by women. Tell a woman you want her to be submissive and the only thing that will be ringing in her head is that you want to make her a servant. Your servant! No one likes being anyone’s servant especially if you are getting the perks and they get nothing out of it even though you would like to feel that you are doing her the ultimate owner by being her husband/ spouse or partner.

Even I would never like to be someone’s servant or would I appreciate being treated like one. But I found new way of looking at it when it is between two people in a marriage/ relationship.

There’s actually a thing such as good service towards your partner and I think I agree with it. If you like someone, love them as you claim and appreciate being with them then you will not find it as a hardship or too abhorrent. But here’s the carte blanche that everyone in relationship never respects or ever pays mind to it.

It needs to be reciprocated.

When you talk about service in a relationship, normally the finger is pointed toward the women and the men are never looked at or encouraged to do the same. I am not talking about cheap chores and duties that you feel you need to do toward your spouse.

It only work when both parties in a relationship are willing to work toward ensuring the needs of their spouse are met. The woman looks out for her husband’s needs but also the man does the same for his wife. Reciprocation in service! You anticipate, or know your spouse’s expectations in some things and if they are doing their part you should also ensure that their needs are also met. It may be in the chores she does in the house but you will also see her efforts as her spouse and choose to lessen her burden in either the same area on in something else entirely. When she sees that you are making the effort, she will be more greatful and appreciative and will not be resentful.  You can never choose to assume that it is your right or your due in everything she does for you because she can always stop and choose to be a crook. No one likes crooks! That is what you would call submission in a good relationship. What she does for you without a woeful expression.

But it will only work when you make it about one good turn deserving another good turn. Otherwise you will never experience it or have it.

You will only get your woman to submit when she can also respect you and see you as a leader. Servants do not bow to spineless fools they may pretend for a short while but in the long run they normally revolt.

So before you ask you wife for submission and her services, are you a leader in her household or she runs the ship top deck and below the deck! Is everything placed on her shoulders or you as her man help her carry the burden.

The way I see it, a man will only demand servitude and submissiveness from me if he also handles his part of the deal and I respect him as well. I will only want to anticipate his needs and take care of them only if he also can anticipate mine and take care of mine too. My servitude demands reciprocation. That simple! Not, the moon, the Atlantic or the stars but simple reciprocation in our relationship.

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