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Simple rules to good sexting

10 October 2014, 14:49 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Sexting…is it good, bad or you should just not do it?

I think that people who should not do it are either under age, or not in a relationship. If you are in a relationship, dating, married... all of the above then you should, if you are not then, I do not know what you are doing, you better be making up for it in other ways.

It is the new first base, if we overlook blow jobs because that is the other prerequisite for starting a relationship this days.

It is not about sex any more but what we used to do to lead up to it.  It’s the modern day form of flirtation. Even as I am writing this I know there are people who do not know how to do it, others want to know how to and others just plainly do not care. I had a friend who used to sext her boyfriend but it is not her who was sexting, but the phone was passed around and everyone in the group came up with something sexy to say or write.
The purpose of sexting is to be experimental and outgoing in your sexual ideas; the people who are best at it are usually the shy ones. They think it but are too closed in to do it. Now, those who can do the act itself are the worst at it and the most unimaginative in the bedroom.

But, there are extremes that we all should avoid, because if we are being realistic, sexting is about what we would like to do with the other person, but what if the other person is just not interested.

Read also: 3 signs she’s good at sex

Unsolicited sexts

We all have egos, and what we like to think is that when we are interested in someone, they are too. Sometimes they are not and other times they might be, but you are making them uncomfortable with all the sexting because like I said, other people cannot just do it. But do not sext someone who is obviously not interested. It is not like you need to get a permission slip to do it, but it is implicit, hot and heavy. If you feel you are heading there, you send it and do not get a reply then stop. Some people are just teases. Or just not into it. Do not give yourself a bad name by sending over ten people sexts in the hope of getting at least one reply. That is desperate and trashy.

Know what you are about

If you do not know, you do not. Leave it at that. Sexting is a pre-meditation to sex. Just imagine, if you asked someone to initiate it for you or to write it down for you. That other person will expect the same when you eventually meet, then you end up clueless because you do not know how to do the real thing. It is a form of promise if you know you cannot do it, then do not promise it.

Do not beg

Just don’t, there are no words big enough to express this point. Goes back to the first point about unsolicited. You tried, it did not work, move on. It is like dating, do not beg for someone to be with you.

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