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Signs to show he is not your soul-mate

09 September 2014, 14:06 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I do not know about you but I think there is nothing such as soul mates, whereby you believe you can never be able to build something meaningful with somebody else because it did not work with this soul mate.  Such mentality breeds taking a lot of stupidity, lack of respect and taking a lot of “crap” from your ‘significant other- 'soul mate'. A relationship is hard work. I am not talking about the honeymoon stage whereby you see each other maybe once to thrice a week after work. It is hard work whereby you have to give room to learn about this other personality that you want to complement with your own.

The way you like doing things is not necessarily how this other person will appreciate doing it. And you also want to identify the line that should never be crossed by either parties. Stalking the other person’s exes to get to “know” them, going through the other person’s phone, dropping in at their place anytime you want- some people just need their space, advertising your arguments. The list is endless and these are just foibles.  Being in a productive, long term and good relationship requires a continuation of having good manners, by good manners, am talking about how you behave during the honey moon stage. No erratic behavior, being courteous, not shouting when you are in a temper. Value and maintain respect for the other person, If this is too hard then let it go.

Read also: Good sex gone very wrong

Strong relationships are built by strong people because you are looking for a partner not a babysitter.  That is why people with jealousy issues should not be in one, it all rings of low or even lack of self-esteem. You do not check up on your partner constantly wondering what they are doing and who they are with, or why they want to be alone at times. Sane people like being alone because it gives room for reflection. If you are not comfortable with your own silence, then there are a lot of issues that need sorting out in your life. It is called giving each other space, a weekend apart will not kill the relationship, and if it does then obviously it was not meant to be.

If a relationship gives you stress, hypertension, high blood pressure, you are not meant to be with that person because that is not love, but a quick entry to your own grave.

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