Should you tell your man you met his friend first?
03 November 2015, 14:36
Nairobi - You met him for drinks?
That is fine. You met him for coffee? That is fine. You met him first
with a handshake? That is okay.
But what about you met and you two did more than be cordial;
had sex and just did more. Tell him or not tell him?
It works two ways; let me tell you. I will not lie to you
and act like you should be sanctimonial and confess. There are just times you can tell and there
are those times you should not even dare; depends on who you are dealing with
actually. I am not saying you make anyone look like a fool but at times you are
better off saving someone some embarrassment.
You have been with your partner for a while. You are working
on things and it has been great. Either you tried with the friend and it did
not work out or you now met his friends after the long wait. But wait a minute;
oh look, it is that guy from a few months back and what do you know? You had
something. That is not the moment to say you know him. Keep that to yourself.
That is public humiliation especially if your man talked you up to his friends.
When a man introduces you to his friends it is because he already let them know
he is bringing you along. It is not by chance even though he makes it look like
that. Act like you have never seen that friend in your life.
The need to know is when you get home and realize that you
actually want him to know. How does it play out? If he likes you he will accept
it and let the friend know he knows and move on. On the other hand he will play
it two ways. Either string you along until he finds someone else who has not
slept with his friend or he will just tell you it cannot move past there and
you two should go your separate ways.
So it comes down to what do you want? Is his friend
discreet? But what do you want; him or you are ready to allow him to walk
away. This is important when you two
have something serious because it is all about respect in relationships in my
opinion. You do not want to make your partner look or feel like a fool;
especially behind his back. If that guy, his friend is not a discreet person,
let your partner know what happened because it will eventually get back to him
since this other one will be busy making snide jokes. Guess who is going to pay for it? You;
because now he thinks he cannot trust you.
If the friend is discreet you still have to let him know so
that the three of you can just clear the air because your partner will still
pick on the vibe between the two of you, misinterpret it and still find out.
You lose again.
On the other hand if the two are not really close and you
three rarely cross paths then let it be. Some things are just better not said.
I have an ‘acquaintance’ that had a boyfriend but met a new
guy who was a better prospect. Plot twist; they all sat down together and had
drinks at the same local. I tell her you cannot fuck two men and later come sit
down at the same table with them. You cannot be giving this one blowjobs and
later on be kissing the other one. The prospect was willing to go by her pace;
the boyfriend was the clueless one. I had to force her to tell her boyfriend
because I knew she was not planning to. It is always better to prevent rather
than cure; diseases and all. Two years later; she is with the prospect but at least
the boyfriend had the chance to move on and not be made to look stupid.
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