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Should you leave or stay?

09 September 2015, 14:54 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Should you leave or stay in a relationship?

What type of man is yours?

They say that the man or woman you are with is a reflection of you; looks and fashion sense or lack or it aside.

Maybe you are thinking of leaving or maybe you are thinking of staying. What if you are thinking of trying to make it work? Is it worth it? What if you end up with something that you were not working towards?  That is usually the worst feeling ever; when you have spent hours and years on/ with someone and they end up being the short end of a stick.

Do you really want to marry your Mr. Potential?

Yesterday, I talked about how settling with your Mr. Potential can go woefully wrong for you. Who wants that? On the other hand, there are always two sides of any given story. There are the fewer ones that yes, they have potential but it is yet to show for this man, I will tell you to look at the hard work he puts into whatever he is doing every single day. For this man I will tell you to give him time and be patient.  After all, it takes 10000 hours to become an overnight success. If he is working hard towards something and he is ensuring that you are okay as well and taking care of you as well; that is a keeper. It is not paying off as fast as you would like but it will pay off. Patience is a virtue a lot of us are yet to learn.

He does not know how to be a good provider now as a boyfriend

It will not change with marriage and with children. If you know you will expect that kind of support from your husband then do not stick with this guy.  I am not saying you should stop taking care of your bills and drain your account. A nice boyfriend is the one that will always go out of his way to find out how he can help. The point is he is giving you that option of going to him when you are stuck. The other one feels much better if that money goes into a weekend away with the boys and leaves you to figure it all out; worse is if you two live together. The struggle you have now is the struggle you should prepare yourself for if you two decide to settle down together.

He loves his drink

This one is a tricky one because it is so hard to tell the limits of anyone unless they are the ones that are willing to show you. To you, the amount he takes is way too much for you to handle and you are already thinking, ’is he an alcoholic? Should I watch out?’ A guy can take the occasional drink every evening, not get into a stupor, can drive and does not have to be dragged anywhere after he is done because his senses are alright and he still makes an effort of get home to you just in time; you get a green light. He is not that bad. You can work with that.

The complete opposite is this one. Does not have to drink everyday but when he does, brace yourself. It can be a whole weekend where you do not see or hear from him. When/ if he does come home you have to help in carrying him from the taxi. If he used one; if he is the kind that drives and causes mayhem you have to worry if he is even safe. You are in trouble. If you know you cannot handle that then do not stick around.

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