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Should he speak to his ex?

14 April 2015, 17:07 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Is it a bad thing if a man keeps in touch with his ex or is it exes?

A lot of women do not appreciate it when the former girlfriends are in the picture. For logical reasons of course. Some of these Kenyan men are very sneaky. He might be keeping her around so that if you prove to be too difficult he goes back. She might also not be an ex but the girlfriend while he hands you a lame excuse as to why she is still around. The man might actually be even married to her and courting you all at the same damn time. There is no limit as to why our male species should not keep in touch with the exes.

I have never had to deal with an ex’s drama. I am not if it is because they were too well behaved or because I have only been in one measly relationship.

The biggest worry is if he would actually cheat on you with her. Most of the time when an ex is in the picture and it is not for business, a child or family ties. It can be worrying when they spend every second of every day talking. What are they talking about when it is really hard for him to talk to you for even half an hour?

Why is he spending all that airtime on her when you only get texts? You should be worried about an ex if he puts more effort in his relationship with her as compared to the one that he actually has with you.

When an ex is in the background and not a trail of them. If it is more than one, it is okay. But if it is just one particular one who is always in the picture then you have a right to be worried and confront the situation head on. Otherwise he will come up with a lame excuse when caught out sleeping with her. Something along the lines of, he was never sure that he actually had anything with you. Your ‘insecurity’ is what pushed him back into her arms.

An ex is never a problem when, if it is business, she keeps it professional. Does not call at all odd hours and disrupt you in the morning, at night and on the weekends. The one who is courteous enough to relay the message within minutes and end the call not inquire about your life history and check up on you. If she does that, either he cuts her off or you should just let that person go because he will never cut her off.

If it is about a child, a good ex, makes it all about the parenting situation that they do have with the man. Most of them are bad though, she will not allow you to practice being a mother on her child. It is with good cause most of the time, but other times, it is so that she can alienate you from the family that she does not want you to be a part of. In such a case run for the hill, especially if she does it in front of him and he never speaks up.

If he does not stand up for you but puts her first, it will not change a few months down the line. If you can deal with being second best after her, then the struggle is upon you. If you cannot then look for someone who has never had a relationship and thus no exes will be popping up out of nowhere. Which will be like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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