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Should a woman fight for a man?

28 October 2015, 14:04 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - You know me and my opinion; including where fighting for a man is concerned. Don’t; but before you go on happy hour let us re-evaluate that decision.

There are men you are definitely not allowed to fight for but there is always that man you should fight for. See the difference? Plural and singular; the plural refers to those men who are just passing by in your life. Like they are in an aisle in a supermarket and they are deciding if they want something from that aisle; those ones. The one who is not sure about you, the one who is playing you off your girlfriend or other women, the one who thinks he has better things to do with his life; that one, leave him alone because he does not deserve your strength.

On the other hand, the other kind; the man that is actually yours; husband or boyfriend. A man, who is actually nice to you, treats you nicely and it definitely shows. And because it shows; we know that the other women want that too. Thing is women do not like adventures, we like safe and when it comes to men, the same is applied. A woman would rather go and take something that is not hers or share it rather than look for one that is just her own. Women do not like the idea of looking because they are afraid of the outcome that it may take longer or might just not happen. Women are also afraid of the work that you have to put in to get a good one or help in making one. That is why when she sees you happy, she will want the tried and proven experiment rather than have her own project.

So what will you do? Give up or show what is up?

Do you allow the other woman to destroy what you have built or act like a grown woman and not allow it to happen? The other problem with women is that their approach when it comes to the root of the problem is also flawed. She will not take the more aggressive route and go directly to the true source of her problem. Who will she go to? Not her mother, her sister or the councilor.

You did not even guess it but what she will do is go to her man and start a problem with him.  ‘It is your fault that that woman is here!’ ‘You are the one that encouraged her!’ or something as flawed us, ‘why are you causing problems in my life? Why are you cheating?’  The guy has not even done anything and just from that one person getting your attention you ruin something that was going so well for you by giving into your insecurities. You have just played right into her hands because that is one of the predictable moves most women share.

Do not start a fight with your man. The man is busy with real problems, making sure you are fine and your family is fine; making sure he can continue taking care of you and your family. So do not go to him with the problem. Go to the source. Have a face to face and ask her, ‘can I help you?’, ‘Do you need something?’, ‘You seem to have business with my man, he does not have time but I do!’

Stop the devil in its tracks before it gets out of hand. He will not be paying attention now but you go to him and start a mess. She gets what she wanted and you have created a problem for yourself in your relationship or family. He starts staying out to get away from you. She steps in to comfort him in his time of desperation and confusion. There is nothing worse than when a man is confused because that is when they make rush decisions. You have just let the devil into your house. Now it plays two ways; you either share with her or let him go! See how easy that was for her.

So at times as a woman you are feeling prideful and you want to show that you do not need to stoop to some levels. I am not saying you have public brawls and pull her. But as a grown woman you also need to learn to see what you have, appreciate it and not allow a smart woman to get the best of you. Don’t allow someone else to destroy what the two of you have built. It is work and years. They are smart, women are smart. As a grown woman you need to know how to handle your business and when you see the predators coming, stop them in their tracks, ‘hold up! Where are you going? Are you lost? Well let me help you take a turn from here because you were going in the wrong direction! This path looks less trodden, you should try it.’ He does not need to get involved. 

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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