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Should a woman completely bow down to a man?

22 May 2015, 14:30 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Happy wife, happy life? Happy girlfriend, happy relationship?


Over the past few days, actually yesterday, I have been taking stock of my relationships. Not the man-woman kind but each and every one of them.

It was done at those moments where you just do not feel like watching anything, reading or just doing anything! I got the pointer from a series I had been watching, where you look at the relationships you have, do they matter, which you need to let go of and the part you play in their building or destruction!


To cut a long story short, I realized that I may have a very bad trait. I like thinking that my way is always the right way, any other way is dense or dumb. It got me thinking whether I actually pay attention to what other people have to say on something before I conclude for all of us that my opinion is what is right. I also realized at times it is not that even big of an issue but I would still like it to go my way or else it’s a constipation-inducing environment for the other parties.


But I did digress and actually considered the aforementioned quote, happy wife-happy life. I do not want to talk about what men have to put up with just to ensure that everything goes her way so as not to mess his digestion for the night. Because it is obvious that most of the time a lot of women do not really pay attention to what their men have to say in anything. Even the small, little things do actually matter, you know!


As a woman, if you are in a relationship, just think of the last thing you had an argument about. Actually, you yelled, he just stared off into space waiting for it to end. Afterwards, he just left with a resigned expression on his face.


Nothing worse than being resigned about putting a dirty coffee cup where you should not. It just starts your day off badly. You leave the house still hearing the buzz form all the constant yelling.


At times, women never really if ever hardly understand how they came to ruin their marriage or relationships but instead choose to latch on the much bigger picture that was the last straw. You forget the part you played over the months or years leading up to the final punchline.

Relationship changes people, and women are usually the most affected. They change how they used to do, say and even hear things.

You already concluded that the way he does every other thing you could do it better. It’s worse when the little mistakes never go unseen. If you pick a fight/ argument over what meat you wanted, how many tomatoes you sent for, which tissue brand you like (if they are all white why place such deep meaning in tissue), toothpaste (unless it is a medical condition or not from River Road I do not understand it)- picking constant fights over meaningless things that you can otherwise deal with. That is one surefire way of ruining a calm environment.


If your way is always the right way, then you are the cause of all the broken relationship that trail behind you. If you are still on the same track, watch out because the trailer is once again about to hit you.


At times, you will be right. The thing is, if its tea leaves, let it go. If it is watching some soap every Friday as compared to a match that is on this particular day-that is when you give allowance. Do not shout because now they want to go watch it at the club because you did not give an allowance. If they forget the tomatoes were for 100 Kshs and bought for 80 Kshs, make it work because at least they remembered to bring some. Maybe it was better to use up all the left over change.


Point is, take stock of your relationship/ marriage and admit some of the misery is part of your doing. Some of the broken communication liners is part of your doing. Bowing down is not that hard, if you are flexible. If you have a crow on your spine then we do understand!

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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