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Sex... just not with you

01 July 2015, 16:05 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Women do not choose to be sexless people in their marriages or relationships. They just do not choose to be emotionless one day and turn off their emotions when it comes to their spouses/ partners.

When you as the man get up in the morning, assuming that you are in a live-in relationship/ marriage what is the first thing you do?

Do you;

  1.        Go shower
  2.       Dress and go to work without showering
  3.        Hit her shoulder/ shake her awake and ask her for breakfast
  4.       Make your breakfast and leave

Now, if you choose any of those answers you have failed the test with a capital F. You two are living in the same house and sleeping in the same bed but there is no such courtesy than greeting your spouse in the morning. Yet she sees that you are very exuberant when greeting the watchman. What did she do to you the previous night assuming that you did not have a tiff? Even if you did, a woman needs to know that no matter what she does to you that you are there for her no matter what. With us, it normally starts with the smallest things.

Every time she is around, you are on the phone, even when you are driving and the cops cannot see but why is it that you are always texting other people but never her during the day. That is why most women are suspicious and go through your phone. You find the time to text and call every other person in your phone book but her she can wait until evening. You cannot text her to ask how her day is coming along or call her at lunch hour. I am not saying you call her every hour and be obsessive about it like a jealous person but the thoughtfulness behind it is what will make her look forward to want to see you and talk to you at the end of the day.

It is okay to want space at the end of the day and just be in your head without conversation but you can also spare her a couple of minutes while she prepares a meal and talk to her. Ask her about what is going on with her and let her chatter your ear off. If she is the type. Your soul mate is the one that does not like talking but women like the emotional connection that comes from knowing you sparred the time to listen to her.

Do not be disgruntled if she offers you her back because that is what most of you do when you come home. You left in the morning without a word. Maybe you managed a grunt here and there. Or the courteous ones would manage ask what would be had for dinner. Then you left. Did not talk to her the whole day buts you are always on your phone. Came back home, slouched in front of the television without a word again! Than at night is when you want to ask if she is in the mood. Then roll over afterwards and the cycle continues.

After I have explained it that way, have you now understood how you play a key role in getting your partner to be completely turned off by you? Not one moment did you make it about her other than wanting her as an inanimate object, at night?

If you want to make progress with her you might as well start considering what you are no longer doing that you did before to endear her to you. What you did to make her feel special throughout the whole day so that she could look forward to wanting to share any intimacy with you. Because to lead up to foreplay, you will just not jump from the couch but still have to lead up to it as well.

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- MyNews24

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