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Sex is not always what a man looks for

05 December 2014, 16:43 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Sex is not always on a man’s mind. If it was, economies would fall, families would most likely not exist and women would be experiencing menopause way before the big 30. But they still do like sex, which is why there always is going to be the wife material for him, then the girlfriend whom he calls when he is bored.

Thing is, most women do not know where they stand with the man they choose to spend their time with. I say time and not life because you need the first before you decide on the latter.

So you decide to give this guy a few months or days of your life, he is wasting them but not courteous enough to let you know. But maybe that is because it might actually be your fault. How you present yourself to every man that you meet goes a long way in them deciding whether you are something long term or short term for him. And not just him but every man that you come in contact with. Just recently I had gone out for a date with my girlfriend. A group came in, and you could tell that they were co-workers who had just left the office and had come to unwind. Within that group was one female. Nothing wrong with being the life of the party, but when you are giving the whole race a breath of existence then you make every one stop and watch. I think in her head she figured, after hours, thus after office, what she forgot was that come Monday, she was going to see the same faces. But of all the women in that crew, she was the one that all the men ground against her behind. The one all of them watched as she stood on chairs and danced. It reached a point you could tell, the men had lost a bit of respect for her.

Bringing me back to the point that, if she had a man that she was trying to impress in that same crowd as a potential girlfriend then she definitely lost. No man wants a woman he knows all his workmates have seen disgrace herself or grind against. He will be open to her availability as the sexual partner but he will never commit to you.

If you are the one constantly on the phone, with a bunch of men constantly calling to find what you are up to because they do not have anything better to do or a girlfriend to fill their void; then the man you are trying to impress will give you enough space to finish dealing with all of them.  He will not commit, not that men do not like competition but a woman who needs admirers to prove self-worth is lacking in a lot.

If you need him for entertainment, rather than companionship then you are not going to be committed to. He can take you to the clubs you want to go to, weekend trips and safaris. But what do you do beside discuss what Sheryl from your department did. Men also get bored and they do like a flow of intelligent conversation with the woman they are with. If you do not have that, then you will not be the girlfriend but the side dish that he calls when he needs a distraction.

No woman wants to ever feel or be disrespected. Does not matter if she walks the streets or serve tea; you can find the highest of dignities in the lowliest of persons and the highest degrees of  misbehavior and lack of self-respect in the most high born. But what we all want is that the men who come in contact with us, to view us with a sense of awe even after we have left. Make them feel like they are missing in something when we are not around.  Being a man’s lapdog will never guarantee you a position as his right hand, watch how you conduct yourself then maybe you will understand why you are not the material you have been aiming for.

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- MyNews24

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