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Relationships are risks... Take them

23 July 2015, 15:20 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - 'Once bitten twice shy'.

Some of us, take the above statement very seriously and normally it is with good reason. Who wants to look like a fool twice over? In family, in business, in career, at work and in relationships. If you are burnt once, you will always think very hard before making a move after that fast occurrence. For those who learn, others just like being in a circus from time to time.

But what if you are ruining perfectly good relationships and/or situationships by being too cautious with the next person. At times, the next person will not even stick around long enough to figure out what is actually the problem.

Look at it from there perspective. They are doing all they can to show you their best version of themselves. They know that they have not done any foul thing to you and do not plan to. Yet, no matter what they do they can just never win with you because you have put up so many walls to diminish their efforts. After sometime it gets tiring. Whatever it might have been that propelled them towards you; lust or infatuation (I do not call it love because that has to be given a chance to work), it wears out and before you know it, they moved on. After all, who wants to waste their time on a project that they know they will win. It is that simple. Affection, effort and emotion for something that you want that does not give in focuses itself on something new that you can actually get.

If that person does go away, will you regret it? Maybe but for most who know what I am talking about it will not register what the other person was up to because they were too busy erecting walls to protect themselves.

By the time you are done, and after some time, you look back when you are alone and now ready to have something with someone but you chased away all of the good that you could have actually had. Even if they are still single they might not want to give you that time because they have figured out something is wrong and they do not want to play fixer in your life. You apply as baggage by the way; with your distorted emotions, views and hurt feelings you are not ready to let go of.

Relationships are always a risk no matter what kind of angel’s back you climb on. You do not know if that person will cheat eventually, are cheating now on another partner. You do not know if they will treat you well after you actually get into that relationship. You do not know if they are dishonest or have weird tendencies. What you do at the end of the day, for great returns, put in great investment. And at times it is just like gambling, the greater the risk, at times, the greater the reward. It is better to roll the dice than hold onto it because you are afraid that you might actually loose than win.

Afraid of looking like a fool? It is always best to solve your issues if you realize you have a tendency of being in bad relationships. The problem might be you choosing the wrong partners for you. Solve that, and you are on a better course.

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