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Reasons women deny men sex

22 October 2014, 13:10 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - All things sex may end up making the world go around. Rarely if ever, do you hear of a man withholding sex but that is one of the major complaints among Kenyan men. They say that the women in their lives deserve to be cheated on because they ration the sex. I will go out on a limb and say that this is a fifty-fifty scenario.

Why would the woman want to withhold sex and just not care but still expect you not to stray? Common theory is usually that a woman’s libido is higher than the man’s which I think is at times not particularly true. Stereotyping is a fallback plan we all have to explain situations in our lives that we just do not have a direct answer to.

Observing the women in my family, my friends and women I come in contact with generally, fact is, women here withhold sex to punish, manipulate, or even just withdraw from the relationship. If you are not paying fees or rent, no sex.  If you forgot her birthday, an anniversary, an occasion, event-if you just forget anything she told you about, no sex. Generally, the woman will just avoid having sex with you if you are too busy not to remember your obligations to her.  It is not meant to be a duty for her but it will just become that if you start falling short of her expectations. Some women will even dread nightfall and will go out of their way to avoid you so that they will not have to deal with your demands.

Read also: 3 things that secretly make her want sex

Then there is using sex as a manipulation tactic, which even I have to agree is not very nice. If that is how your intimate relationship began, then you better pack up and leave because that is a trend that has already been set and you do not want to deal with that.

Does the above cases excuse infidelity, no they do not. It is better if you are upfront with each other and either deal with it or just cut to the chase; that is if you are in a relationship and not yet married. But for the married ones it is so much harder especially if you have been together for a couple of years with children. Our society is not one which people will easily go to court to dissolve a marriage due to lack of sex.

In most cases both parties are aware, the woman knows the man is cheating and one just chooses to look the other way because they are more bothered with other things in their lives. Though in most relationships even marriages, after a few months/ years, the spark has phased out, it is used either as a punishment or to manipulate. That is why the other woman will always be there.  

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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