Realtionships: Quality v quantity?
03 August 2015, 16:13
Nairobi - Before you decide to rush off with someone because of the
pressure you are getting from every side, remember that you are the one that
will have to spend the rest of their days with that person. Remember it is not
them but you who will have to wake up next to this other person. It is not them
but you who will have to deal with their issues and their personality.
Look at the quality of the relationship you have now with
your partner. If it does not satisfy you now, you have talked about it, it has
not changed then you have done all you could. Hoping that it gets better after
that rarely if ever works. You put in work, see the results, if it is not
working you change the formula.
Quality not quantity. Quantity can be represented by the
number of partners and it can also be represented by the material things that
you are getting from that relationship. You can have more of either one of
those but neither one can be quality.
The quality of a relationship is judged by what each partner
brings of themselves to the table. Again, not the material. Material is good, I
will admit that but I will also be honest to admit it for you, that it rarely
satisfies. Some of it also has a depreciating value unless it is land or real
The quality of your relationship will tell you the nature of
that relationship. One partner can be the giver and the other the taker.
Meaning that it is only serving the selfish purposes of one partner. In the long
run someone ends up being dissatisfied and having a complaint.
One person may be a push over and the other one the
opposite, creating an imbalanced relationship where one is constantly having to
figure out how to catch up with the other. How they should act in order for the
other partner to like them or find them attractive. Constantly trying to figure
out what they could have done not to make the other happy even if it had
nothing to do with them from the beginning. Look out for such a relationship
and get away fast because what it is doing is draining you. You are living in
such a limbo and are constantly anxious because of your partner and what you
can do to make it better for them. Are they doing the same for you?
So why are you rushing to commit to such people and such a
relationship? I would hope that when anyone chooses to commit they look out
for something that is going to fulfill them and satisfy them. The only thing
that can do that is something of quality and in this case a relationship that
is of quality. Something of a positive nature thus a positive outlook for you.
Otherwise, it would not be worth it because you will have regrets later on and
you are setting up a foundation for it to happen.
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