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Realtionships: Quality v quantity?

03 August 2015, 16:13 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Before you decide to rush off with someone because of the pressure you are getting from every side, remember that you are the one that will have to spend the rest of their days with that person. Remember it is not them but you who will have to wake up next to this other person. It is not them but you who will have to deal with their issues and their personality.

Look at the quality of the relationship you have now with your partner. If it does not satisfy you now, you have talked about it, it has not changed then you have done all you could. Hoping that it gets better after that rarely if ever works. You put in work, see the results, if it is not working you change the formula.

Quality not quantity. Quantity can be represented by the number of partners and it can also be represented by the material things that you are getting from that relationship. You can have more of either one of those but neither one can be quality.

The quality of a relationship is judged by what each partner brings of themselves to the table. Again, not the material. Material is good, I will admit that but I will also be honest to admit it for you, that it rarely satisfies. Some of it also has a depreciating value unless it is land or real estate.

The quality of your relationship will tell you the nature of that relationship. One partner can be the giver and the other the taker. Meaning that it is only serving the selfish purposes of one partner. In the long run someone ends up being dissatisfied and having a complaint.

One person may be a push over and the other one the opposite, creating an imbalanced relationship where one is constantly having to figure out how to catch up with the other. How they should act in order for the other partner to like them or find them attractive. Constantly trying to figure out what they could have done not to make the other happy even if it had nothing to do with them from the beginning. Look out for such a relationship and get away fast because what it is doing is draining you. You are living in such a limbo and are constantly anxious because of your partner and what you can do to make it better for them. Are they doing the same for you?

So why are you rushing to commit to such people and such a relationship? I would hope that when anyone chooses to commit they look out for something that is going to fulfill them and satisfy them. The only thing that can do that is something of quality and in this case a relationship that is of quality. Something of a positive nature thus a positive outlook for you. Otherwise, it would not be worth it because you will have regrets later on and you are setting up a foundation for it to happen.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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