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Open relationships gaining ground in Kenya?

30 October 2014, 15:03 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Do open relationships or even marriages exist in Kenya?

Yes they do, but we are all bold faced liars that we can never admit to anything that we presume as unnatural or out of the norm.

Something that we are not used to. No one ever admits to being involved in anything but we understand that since no one wants people involved in their private life and giving them unsolicited advice.

For the novice; what is an open relationship? It is that which entails two people who are in a relationship deciding that they can still step out of the relationship or marriage when they are attracted to another person as long as they inform the other partner about it. Sounds very rosy and cozy as it spells autonomy, freedom and honesty in a relationship. Why would anyone opt for open marriage or relationship?

It is a new trend but done undercover as we Kenyans like to keep our little as well as big dirty secrets. Before, marriage used to be forever, divorce was frowned upon, even unheard of by the traditional African society even the church was against it.

Read also: 3 sex moves to guarantee her orgasm

But bring in the modern African society, as soon as the going gets tough you just call off the shorts rather than suffer through misdeeds. But what happens when you are invested heavily in terms of financial as well as social security. And you had that really big grand wedding that cost a few millions then the children; you choose to look for other options. And the latest trend is open relationships. You agree to stay within the marriage and conduct your social sexcapades discreetly.

You chose to have a separate life that will not put a strain on the marriage and children you have built. Sounds like a win-win situation especially when you consider the fact that you are open and honest about it. But what such a relationship needs is two very mature adults, touched by a little cynicism but can still come together and think rationally as well as objectively about what they both want.

Does not always work out that way because one person will always feel shortchanged and that is when all hell breaks loose.

Would you be in one?

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