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Online dating tips for the Kenyan woman

11 September 2014, 16:19 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Maybe I do not understand, because I have never been in one; an online relationship that is. I will be a bit sceptic and wonder aloud at those who conform to online dating and especially in the long-term. How is it long-term to be in a relationship with someone you chat with on the web? In most cases, there are no video calls and even if there are, how does one call that a relationship? It is different when for instance when you were with this person in a normal relationship but it suddenly becomes long distance. That is obviously different. That I see.

What I do not understand about online relationships is that you are talking to someone you have never met face to face. How do you know that they are real and do exist. That it is not just a fake identity they have set up, a fabricated personality stolen from a person’s fantasies of whom they would like to be.

I say that because I see so many women in cyber cafe's in town doing so with men purportedly in the west, in the belief they are heading in the right direction. In this day and age, there are a lot of falsehoods being devised in everyday interactions. You might find one individual with several dummy accounts where they interact with a large group of people. Sucking them all in into thinking how fabulous they are.

Read also: Woman caught masturbating on motorcycle

It is not bad, to make the first contact sight unseen, but it is unhealthy to suck yourself into something that does not exist. Go out and meet this person. Do not sit on a table, hands on a keyboard, saying you are on a date. Most probably the person you are chatting to has a couple of tabs open and is talking to ten other yous. If you can't meet them, then probably you should not bother.

Truth of the matter is, even if you a have been truthful about yourself, there is some part of the interaction that has a ring of falsehood in it. If it is not so, then why hide behind a screen? Why are you not dating the people who have met you or vice- versa, but are online instead? Because it is easier to cheat. Not just for you but for the other person.

Read also: Washing dishes will not get you the man ladies

The whole point of interacting with someone else, is to see their facial expressions when you talk to them, when they are about to lie, when they laugh or are sad, when they are experiencing troubled times; smileys, memes and emoticons do not count. Internet dating provides you with limitless possibilities which can have unhealthy ramifications on your personality if you take it too far. You may end up developing trust issues most especially when you keep meeting people who they say they are someone they are not. You may end up either being a good judge of character or a very poor one when you keep making bad decisions in picking your dates.

Use it as a channel but do not be an addict and let it control you, your decisions or actions.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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