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Number 1 rule of dating: Keep it simple

23 July 2015, 17:00 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -I think unless it is a company report or a business report and it is not The Business Weekly, then it should not be over-analyzed.

Over- analyzing anything before it even starts just ruins it and makes you too anxious to even enjoy it. That is why majority of the women even men that I talk to never actually enjoy any of the dates they go to. You spend too much time on the ‘what ifs’ such that you even forget to look forward to the date. It gets here and it is like you are sitting for a sort of exam. That is why most people who want a relationship, they want it yes, but they do not like the dating process at all because who likes sitting for exams anyway and that is what it actually is.

Where will we go? What will we eat? What will we wear? The one that everyone dread, ‘what will we talk about?’ You want to not sound stupid with any comment. You want to be on the same foot with the other person, if you actually like them. You do not want to be that boring date. It all gets so tedious and that is why people end up in people’s house’s because it is just easier to go there, watch a random movie and make that ‘mistake’ that we all make at someone’s house.

You will never enjoy dating if you take it too seriously and you will never show that person how much of good company you are if the whole date is focused on them rather than them getting to know you. That is why for me, dinner is never the setting I am looking for. You have to worry about what you will wear and not stand out or look out of place. Conversation will be at a minimum because you are busy eating. Woe unto you if you ordered something in the name of a good experience and it turns off in your mouth. Now you will look stupid for ordering something that you did not know. Before you know it, the night is over and you never even got to know the other person.

The best time to have a date is during the day and if not that, somewhere you just relax and have a drink. You can eat later after actually talking and getting to know each other. You also do not have to play dress up. That is why, on that night you met, before they had your number, it was fun and you ‘clicked’. It was just casual and not too much fuss. No one was over thinking anything and worrying on what to do and not what to say. You were just having a conversation.

Fuss should come later when you want to do something different as a couple and experiment with some new place. You can actually ask your partner and not worry what they will think. Both of you can be casual at that new cool place and you do not have to worry about standing out alone. That is how it is done.

Do not believe me? I bet you to try it!

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