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Not all women are good wives

29 September 2014, 19:02 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - You can never become a good wife before becoming a real woman. Notice that I say woman, notice that I have used the word woman and not any other synonym used to refer to the female person.

Knowing your mind, speaking your mind, being self-respecting and confident may seem like easy pieces to a puzzle that any girl can up with and fit into the jigsaw perfectly to make the woman. But they are hard traits that not many can emulate. Faking it does not work all the time, the mirage eventually cracks.

The institution of marriage is formed under partnership and most women get it wrong. They think it gets easier once you have someone become the head of the household, it does not. In fact it becomes harder because you are no longer thinking of yourself but other people just come into the equation. Starting with the man you have decided to build your perfect life with.

You have to be able to have a mind of your own

Being a yes woman will not work. Being a wife is being a partner. Partnership is not about agreeing to everything you are told and cowering due to fear of bearing offence on someone’s sensibilities. Being a woman is being able to voice your own opinions because you are confident enough to know that your brain is not a substandard issue. Remember that as a wife you will have children that you are entitled to make the best decisions for, if not for them, then yourself otherwise you will be ridden roughshod.


Having a life

If you create an existence around someone you end up being a partial copy and not an individual, because of your dependency. Even if you are a housewife, there is something that you just have to be doing other than waiting on someone else. A woman is someone that understands that nothing is ever served up on a silver platter, everything is earned. If you got it the easy way, that is why it will never be fully yours because someone else is working hard for it.

Read also: Are you relationship needy?

Taking less than what you really deserve

If you are working hard for something then you better be bearing the fruits of the very best pick. If not, then you are going about it the wrong way. The worst is being ruled by fear and being afraid that if you go after something you will fail. Grown women are not ruled by fear; at the end of the day, they get the satisfaction of knowing that they tried and hold their head up high. Settling is just a weak option that girls choose and get satisfaction from it. A grown woman will always go after what she wants and looks good while at it.

11 out of 10 times this is the woman that will attract a man worth his salt because he is also not settling. The insecure ones are the ones that go after girls who need handholding.

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