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Not all rich men are good men

22 December 2014, 19:13 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Our society has created a problematic situation when they have sold young girls who eventually grow into women of the notion of happily ever after.

There is nothing wrong with being optimistic, the same way there is nothing wrong with Disney fairy tales and indulging in Mills and Boons novels which were quite the rage in the 80s and 90s. The problem only comes up when you translate what you have read into and expectation that life has to indulge you in. And that is why at the end of the day, you will find that woman, who was just perfect for everyone and had it going losing options and deciding to settle with the next man because she passed up on all the rest. It is okay to be a career chaser, waiting until you are mature enough to hook yourself onto that wagon; nothing wrong with all that but if you are still waiting and passing up on what is right in front of you so that you can have Mr. Perfect, then I will save you the time and tell you that he does not exist.

The worst thing about certain decisions is when they are irreversible and you just wish that you could turn back time and accept Tony’s proposal though he still lived in that KES 10000 apartment and you wanted Mr. Alex because he owned a house in Gigiri. Thing is, Alex never stepped up but Tony did but you passed him up because you felt that even though Alex did not step up, you would settle for a prototype of him but one never came up. The thing about most women I know who are married is that most of them do have regrets with the partner they ended up with because they know they settled.

But for the men, that is never the case, if anything, men never undercut themselves but usually look for the woman who is so out of their league and they normally do find the right ways to sync that woman with their matrimonial ambitions.  If he sees you and he knows that you will probably be the last and best thing that ever crosses his path, everything will come at a standstill for him until he gets you.

The women on the other hand, pass up on very good men because, they have grown up with silk woven webs in their heads of the perfect man, with the six /seven figure job and the double terraced house in  Muthaiga and not the picket fence in Nyayo estate, those do not make the cut anymore.

So the husband you end up with, make no mistake, he knew what he was doing, you have settled, but he chose. Because at the end of the day, men rarely make such decisions based on emotions but logic-he is looking for the woman that will make him a better man. While the woman is clinging onto what Mills and Boons depicted as the perfect man, and by the time you are in you late twenties pushing thirty, you clutch onto the straws that fling themselves onto your path. Remember, men never settle but as a woman, when it comes to relationships, you do in the long-term.

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