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Never underestimate a man, I did and I'm crying

14 April 2015, 14:17 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I am in the process of enacting a Nigerian movie. Not with a script and the whole shenanigans but in real life.

A friend of mine recently resurfaced. You know those people you were in primary with and you thought would not amount to much. Just be regular like everybody else, like you! But this man seems to have gone and gotten his act together while the rest of us were busy being average. Making millions, owning a chopper, a couple of cars and a palatial home. All at the age of 24. Before you get on a high horse and start thinking he made the money the crooked way or inherited it from someone, not so. The guy is in IT. IT has a lot of money by the way, I am currently trying to figure out how I can start making good software,with my lack of proper technique, to sell to companies.

So his problem is, he is looking for a woman to complete the story. He is good looking, plays rugby recreationally and is really into that romantic stuff you all like. He wants a woman whom he will treat like a queen. Her work will just be to be available and spend all that money he has already made for her. Hear that ladies, while you are busy thinking Kenya has no men, there are men out here. The problem is, you have to find them. Even I was on the verge of proposing to him myself. But I had already spoilt my chance by telling him, he was not on my level before I had found out all the juicy bits. And that is our problem.

The first time I heard someone telling me that Kenyan women think too highly of themselves, I really got offended. This was coming from a Malawian, not even a Kenyan man. I told him that we do not think too highly of ourselves, it is just that we know what we want and expect the very best.

So there I was telling this gentle soul that he was not on my level but he was even beyond my level. Most of us like thinking we are something that we are actually not. We want someone to spend all their hard earned money on us yet we have never actually spent a day working really hard for ourselves.

We want someone who will take us to eat at all the best restaurants yet we have to scramble for a little bit of Ugali in our own house. Seriously. You are busy telling someone how you shop at high end boutiques or abroad yet when no one is looking, your best outfit was thrifted from some stall. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but why represent for something that you are not?

That is how majority of you are missing out on relationships and scrambling after people that do not exist. They are just faking it like you and you draw yourselves to each other. Everyone is faking it until they make it. The genuine ones are left watching on the sidelines because they are not about to get into that scramble with the rest of you materialistic people.

They are looking but looking beyond you because you are trying to act like someone that you are not.

So the Nigerian movie part. This man asked me for help to look for his beau that will actually be interested in him and not his money. As the reader you already know that that will be kind of hard considering when you go to the man’s backyard the helicopter is packed there. Most of you Kenyan women will change even your religious affiliations if it got you the chance to be his wife. If a man is picking you up in a classy car, you will more amiable. I told him what he has to do is be poor while he is going on dates. I told him not to pick up any of his dates in a car. Told him to walk and not take her to his house for a year. By then he should know if she was genuine.

Since he has gotten used to the rich life, he told me that the idea of walking was out of the question. He was going to park his car somewhere and meet her ahead.

Now to the young ladies, you might be the lucky one who will be taken out by the man. I do not know, you might even not know him. Thing is, you are seeing someone right now and not giving him the time of day because ‘he is not on your level’. What do we even mean when we tell someone they are not on our level? You might end up losing in the long run and not even know when it happened. You are too busy taking things at face value and not actually getting to know the man.

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