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Never lie about money in your relationship

04 March 2015, 14:38 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Living within your means is not such a far-fetched idea. I was visiting my friend this past weekend, one of us was broke because the company delayed her salary, the other one had money but we still stayed in because we just have that type of relationship with boundaries. We both work but no one is buying the other one anything which is good because starting a new month with money in your pocket feels a lot better than starting it regretting why you went drinking when you should have been paying bills.

When you are in your twenties is when you make the worst purchasing decisions; I had to grow up really fast because there is no back-up other than myself. When you are paid per week, you sit down and start deciding what is most urgent. Bus fare for the following week, you have to have that so that you are able to go work in the first place so that you are paid again. Then you bu the items that are completely out and you will need the following week, by the time you are done, there is no money left for alcohol/ clubbing/ buying shoes or going for lunches on Sundays. You just have to stay at home.

My friend on the other hand, has yet to get that concept. No matter how many times every end month comes and she has no bus fare or food in the house, she will still insist that there is a pair of shoes (Kshs 3000+) that she has to get.

I am sure that if I am doing the same, some Kenyan men are doing so too especially my peers. Most of them are not living with the parents, so there is rent plus the amenities’ bills, then he has to pay bus fare and then he has to drink for those with no self-control. So when the girlfriend calls, he only has less than Kshs 5000 in his pocket, you can rarely go anywhere with that money in Nairobi if it has to sustain you for the whole month. She wants credit, wants to go on a date and have dinner not eat an ice cream cone at Uhuru Gardens, and in most cases you also have to help her pay her bills too. Because she is like my friend, she has to buy shoes and go clubbing to mark the beginning of the next month. Little wonder that most young women this days are choosing to date or have a relationship with the older man because he will not fail her.

Her peer can hardly afford the both of them, let alone himself. So he would rather do without the girlfriend rather than have one who needs a date every weekend that will cost him a quarter of his salary. I have a friend who would rather pick a random in the club for a one night stand or the ladies of the night trade because it is much cheaper… in his words. He has learnt to live within his means.

That is the advantage that men have too; he will have fun in his youth, can abstain from the altar for decades, make his money, and even if he is pushing forty/fifty, he will always be a catch and will have some younger woman on his arm. They have limitless time and always they always win. The way I see it living within your means only works for men and not for women. So forgive those women who are too ambitious and will use whatever tricks they have up their sleeves to get to where they want to be. With their man’s help of course!

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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