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Monogamy must not always lead to cheating

04 November 2014, 16:47 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - You spend 100% of your time building and working towards a life with that elusive person that you would like to spend the rest of your life with then when finally you are with them, you get frustrated because you now want to step out because now the grass is greener on that other side. Was monogamy what you wanted after all or was it just the mystery of it.

Temptation is what makes us want what we cannot have but when you finally have it, pangs of regret and self-loathe start creeping in. It has always been rule of thumb that when a man sleeps with many women, he is A MAN, but when the woman does the same she is either referred to as a slut or as a whore.

I am not advocating for women to sleep around, but just pointing out that it is not only men who test the bounds of their monogamous relationships but women do so too. Just that they are more intelligent at doing it.  The man will either take the woman to his own marital home or a motel/ lodging around where he lives but the woman will do it like a nomad.

You may even think your suspicions are a figment of your imagination as it will all be without a trace.

So why cheat, because ten out of ten times, people regret it then go back to it again and again. The thing that people get confused about when it comes to monogamous relationships is that their partner should now be beholden to them. Which in essence is what leads to it because making your partner suppress their urges is what leads to a buildup of sexual frustration that leads to outside dalliances.

Flirting is harmless, but when done the right way, same as looking is harmless but not ogling. Being able to talk about it with your partner is a positive and never a negative because it conveys trust and understanding. Restricting yourself or a partner is what ends up in affairs because they keep thinking about it on their own, to themselves, then one day, a stray glance or flaky encouragement turns into a full-blown affair which could have been avoided in the first place.

Monogamy should not be a prison sentence but something both parties should look forward to enjoy with each other.

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