Men lose interest when ladies give in too early
29 January 2015, 14:35
Nairobi - The reason why so many Kenyan women are losing in the
dating/relationship/ marriage market is not because they are as bad as most of
their Kenyan male counterparts make them out to be but because they lost
interest in knowing how to play the game.
Most of them already have a 5 year plan after they graduate
from University and it all has to be accomplished before they hit 30. Get a
job, get money, be in a meaningful relationship, have babies, get the house and
then the next chapter is when you are thirty. By then hopefully everything has
gone according to plan and you can concentrate on your career and building the
family. Problem is, most of these wants and needs never go according to plan
and when a woman gets desperate she can become erratic. She starts chasing the
man instead of the man chasing her.
One of the things a male friend of mine once told me and it
stuck was, when he is dating a girl he
expects to work hard to be with her just to feel like he is somewhere not many
men have been able to be.
When she decides to
have sex in the first date just because she is trying not to play games, then
he will not be the one to tell her ‘No, let us try to make it meaningful. He
will oblige her but afterwards he loses interest because what else is there for
him to see. It will not matter if she has an amazing personality, is humble,
has a good heart, he will think and wonder to himself whether you do that with
every man you go out on a date with. Eventually he stops being interested and
looks for the one that will make him feel like he won and not the others that
are after her.
I do not pay attention to what most of my guy friends say,
but this made a lot of sense to me. Men like to be conquerors as well as
predators, and you as the woman are the prey. Maybe on the off chance he would
like to be chased and maybe that is once in a while. But the woman that
eventually ends up with him is the 1 in the 10 that made him truly work to be
her boyfriend/ husband.
As a Kenyan woman I know for a fact that we like to jump through
hoops especially when it comes to the men that we are seeing. We are so afraid
of being single that we desperately lurch on to the one that shows interest. In
the end he loses interest and starts running away from your attentions because
what they spelt for him was desperation. Then you wonder why when he is the one
that was after you in the first place.
Just for a second go through your phone and see what man you
have currently been stalking. He said hi, you exchanged numbers, maybe he gave
you his business card. The minute you got into the matatuor you were stuck in traffic, you sent him a friend request,
a message and poked him just to make sure he got the message. Then you texted
him to tell him goodnight and in the morning woke him up with a good morning
text, then you also called during the day to make sure he was not run over by a
bus. That is how bad desperation smells, the worst part is not many of us know
when to stop because at the back of your mind you are thinking that you are
What you are showing
him is that you are clearly not as beautiful, smart or intelligent as he
thought because it seems he is the only man showing you a bit of attention. If
he is the only one doing that then maybe you are not worth it. Never allow a
man to have such second grade thoughts when it comes to you because he will
take you for a date that is not meant to impress, order a bottle of wine that
is just casual enough and before you know it there are no dates to even speak
of. I think you would rather be alone and do those things for yourself rather
than have a man who does not appreciate you enough.
That is why, for the first time at
least let the man be the one to chase you and not the other way around. Make
him feel like he has something worth having rather than what any other Tom,
Dick and Harry can have.For the latest on national news, politics, sport, entertainment and more follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page!
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