Men don't listen to their women
27 March 2015, 14:47
Nairobi - I have realized that the Kenyan man does not appreciate it when you tell him what to do. In fact, if he falls down on the road or slips and falls you should ask him if it was intentional to which he will answer yes. If he slips and falls down again, do not offer help as this may be emasculating in which case you become the enemy for not minding your business.
I was in a certain mall today, the elevators were not working and the management had taken time to put a notification on each floor, plastered on the doors. So this man, stands and stares. He is clearly reading the notification. He is on the ground floor so he proceeds to walk up the stairs as the rest of us mere mortals. On the first floor, he stops at the elevators again (I am not going to assume he was stupid and thought they could now work on this other floor). He sees a guard passing and asks, ‘Kwani hizi vitu hazifanyi kazi?’ The guard answers no and turns to me and comments, ‘the man can clearly see the notification but he insists on asking me again. Why?’
Why? Because you are telling him what to do. If he wanted to walk off the first floor and jump to the ground, that is his business, mind yours and try not to save his life. He is not stupid.
The same case applies to relationships.
I have noticed that at times, as a woman it works better for my own benefit if I let the man figure it out for himself. If you comment, give advice or your opinion, you are nagging. If he said he would do something, just keep quiet. That will spur him into action faster than you bickering and trying to remind him.
It works even better if it affects him personally. For example, you took the suits both yours and his to the laundry. He knows because he was there. He also knows the pick-up date because you gave him the receipt and asked him to pick them up. I know so many of you ladies are wondering why, that morning that you reminded him to pick them up he still forgot. That is because their upstairs does not work at our prompting but theirs. In his head when he saw you opening your mouth and it was not to kiss him goodbye or bid him good day but to spill out words. He switched off because he figures that you are telling him something that he already knows. Which is true.
If he wants to forget the suits let him, he is the one that will have to figure out how to get to work. The fact that you did not even mention it will be the reason he asks that you do it next time. It will serve as a reminder for him next time that you will not even have to take them for him but he will be doing it himself.
The next time, your man offers to do something. If he wants to go a certain direction that you know is wrong, let him. It is better when he gets it wrong and asks for your advice as compared to you telling him. When you tell him he is already thinking why you think he is stupid and cannot figure it out.
Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.