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Love does not exist, life does

27 November 2014, 19:16 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  For every man there is a woman and for every woman there is a man…or rather that is what we are told to believe. It only goes wrong when you are the right woman for a wrong man or the right man for a wrong woman.

It rarely is ever in the looks department because truth is, looks rarely matter at the end of the road and in most cases it usually is a matter of what you see is what you get in terms of looks. The tricky part normally comes in a few months, weeks into a relationship and you wonder how you ended up with this new creature that you were never even aware of existed. You can hide character and habit but not for too long. It’s is like being a chameleon, the camouflage never lasts, just put it in a different setting or situation and the colors just start changing.

The worst part is when you are the good person in that relationship and you keep wondering what you ever did wrong to get the crutch. It is that moment of having been in a relationship for years on end with one person, being invested in them, and then one day someone else comes up, and they are the one’s getting all the attention from the good girl or good man at home. Not because they demonstrate better housekeeping skills, better caring or even better understanding; they even most probably do not care for them but you leave all the good ones behind and chase after the bad. It is called the attraction of the: challenge. It does not apply to the men alone but the women too. That is why there are bad boys, there are the side girls who are always winning. They demonstrate the character of always being the elusive and not caring what the chaser thinks. And the more they run the further the good guys are willing to chase them, and when they never give in, the ones who were left at home tending the hearth pick up the pieces and bandage the wounds so that the one’s they pine for can keep chasing and they wait hoping that one day they realize there worth. Thing is they never do.

As you age, you get the intelligence and the wisdom to realize and make decisions that are better for you but we always overlook this because at the end of the day we are still kids in the candy store only wanting what mummy and daddy will struggle to afford or that which our pocket money cannot get us. The term settling does not apply only to those in their twenties who married just because there was too much pressure from the relatives and the family but also those who realize at thirty or even forty that they wasted all their energies in their twenties running after the wrong to-be spouse who was never interested in the first place.

You ignored the prime piecewith the right seasoning just because you partner ordered the spare ribs and you wanted a taste of that too. Wasting too many good years and now at forty you have to settle for the second rate goods when you could have had the best. Goes for both the men and women, people need to re-evaluate their choices when it comes to the spouse you want not look down the road and blame other people for your wrong decision making.

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