Life begins at 40... Really?
09 July 2015, 18:58
Nairobi - In 1955, Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell played in a film adaptation of a play known as The Seven Year
Itch. Generally, it was just about how you are prone to cheat after a couple
(seven in this case) of years in marriage. We always talk about cheating until
it gets boring, so I will adapt it to something else.
If you are open-minded you will see that the film was not
about highlighting that one issue but generally dissatisfaction with your life.
This kind of dissatisfaction does not happen in your 20s or 30s; then you are
content to earn your small monies, build your average house, have a regular
family doing regular things and waiting for retirement.
So many people like lying how life starts at forty. I do not
know who came up with this one but I will assume that it was a cougar and a man
experiencing mid-life crisis. How are you going to lie to people like that? We
all know when you hit forty, fifty, and sixty…. You are closer to deaths door
than you are at obtaining your youth. Yes, you make mistakes and you make
foolish decisions but it is an experience you can never get back. I will also
assume they were a couple of divorcees who were done raising the family and
were now ‘free’ to do as they willed.
But life does not start at forty, you were just slower in catching on.
I will also assume that the seven year itch happened to the
same people after the following took place. I am saying this not for them but
maybe for you who might be experiencing it and do not know. Or you who is like
me and has a chance to make better decisions before the time runs out.
We will start with marriage because the play was about marriage anyway
Wrong partner, wrong choice and worse life experience
No matter how older I get with each passing year, everyone
getting engaged and having weddings and settling down, I will never settle with
someone whom I cannot see me taking care of when they are old and grey. I do
not romanticize some things and this is just one of them. They look good now,
are doing well now, healthy now but what about 20 years later. Will you still
like them? If they break their back, get disabled or have a runny nose and they
cannot take care of it themselves, will you stomach them? That to me is what
causes the seven year itch- becoming dissatisfied with a partner that you chose
early in life. The worst thing that can ever happen is dedicating your life to
one person year after year, and in no time it is twenty years later and you are
asking what did I do? I could have done so much better, or they were just not
meant for me, or maybe we rushed it-if we had just waited. KK got divorced
after 72 days, it looked bad then but at least she did not waste away her life
because that is what a lot of people do. It is years now but later it is a life
you have wasted.
In your job/ career-were you just born to pay bills?
Civil servants in Kenya retire at around 50-60 years old, I
am not sure; and then your pension rolls in. But let us come close, you are
35-40 now. All your life or since you started working let us assume in your
20s, you have always had an 8-5 full time job with the extra Saturday. You do
nothing else. Leave for work, go back home and Saturday you might leave
earlier, go back home after grocery shopping. Go to church on Sunday maybe and
the cycle begins. Now just imagine you have been doing that for 15+ years.
Aside from your leave, what else have you done? You look good on paper but when
you hit 40 you start asking yourself what you have done. Yes, you fed the
family, sheltered and clothed them but were you born to just pay bills? In your
parents’ house you had no money, you got into your house and now you had bills.
You have never enjoyed anything.
If you are thinking about your local, that is not enjoyment!
I am talking about vacations, travelling (not travelling to your rural home but
even Zanzibar, start small) and doing things out of your comfort zone. You look
at your marriage you cannot even have fun with your partner. You are just
grumpy and it is so cold.
You decided you want to stay single
Just like people rush into marriage, there are those who lie
to themselves that they will love being single.
Stop playing and stop lying. Being single is good, I can
admit that. You have no spouse to report to. You have no children to make
demands on you or your money. You can do what you want and when you want. But….BUT
You hit forty and maybe your parents are no longer here.
Your siblings are living their own lives with their own families; you cannot encroach
on that. You have nobody! No children that will take care of you in your old
age and no spouse for companionship. Marriage is built on one thing that people
forget, not your children or the many years that you spend raising a family.
When you grow old you have someone to share that with. They take care of you
and you them. Someone to sit by the fire with or the bare chimney in your Runda
house and just be silent but you know you have someone. They can die before you
yes, but you will not be afraid of death when it comes for you because you
shared it with them.
Or you can travel with them and spend that good money with
them, or you think you will keep asking your friends to come with you? You can
pay someone for that companionship but that is time, money and effort and you
might end up not enjoying that company or jump from agency to agency and person
to person looking for someone who will ‘just
get you!’ That is the seven year itch for single people.
For the latest on national news, politics, sport, entertainment and more follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page!
Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.