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Ladies, are you a faulty lock?

11 March 2015, 16:37 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - ‘A key that opens many locks is a master key, but a lock that is opened by many keys is a faulty lock.’


These are words of wisdom imparted to me by a male colleague that I had to share with everyone especially my female counterparts seeing as we are developing into a nation of feminists and women who want to do what they want when they want.


You see the reason as to why us Kenyan woman and our fellow male counterparts are at loggerheads, is because we want them to state their intentions. While they on the other hand do not want to because we are known to assume a lot.  We are a very conceited lot that likes to assume we deserve the best of everything. Even though some of us might be a terrible substitute of what the man actually wants.


Tell a Kenyan woman, or let me just say a woman because it still applies to any woman; tell her that you would like to be married in the future and she will assume who better than her to take the place. So she will run around to do your bidding just because she assumes that you cannot get better than her or rather you do not deserve better than her.


You as the man cannot tell her that you want or are looking for a serious relationship because she immediately assumes that it is her you want. That is when you are looked at badly when you forget an anniversary you did not even know about. Or a birthday that you did not have time to check on her Facebook wall and find out about. Or the relationship you are having that you did not get the memo about. Since she was doing your laundry without you asking it was up to you to figure out that you were actually in a relationship. So in the end, as the man, you lose anyways, tell her you are not her boyfriend; you will get a tantrum. Do not tell her and surprise her with your woman, you will still get a whooping or a drink in the face.


See ladies, the reason I put that quote up is because that is how many of you end up being a sh***y lock, because you are getting opened by too many keys. A man will be a stud, if he plays the field, a woman on the other hand becomes a * (unladylike word) if she does the same. The thing is most of you end up in that kind of situation gradually and unknowingly as compared to the men.


Men are allowed to play the field, but they do it at the same time while looking for that one lock that is yet to be played by the whole arena. You might have been it, but as you attempt to go after every boy.

That crosses your path you end up losing on the master keys. As much as we like touting about equal rights that is one place we will never win especially if you are looking for a good man’s compliance for a long-term commitment.


It is allowed to want to be single and to spend the rest of your life alone. It is also allowed to want to have a companion but how you go about choosing that companion is what matters. Do not chase after every boy, not man, and render yourself a bad lock. It is not that the men do not want commitment, just that when he is looking, he gives himself time to observe and watch how you behave.

Not living within your means, telling him how he is not good enough to fit the shoes you chose for him, and over reaching in everything in his life yet you are not up to standard. That is how you get cast in roles you did not audition for; the ‘one night stand, the date, the side chick, the mother of his child not good enough to be a wife, and men can friend zone too you know’ the list is endless. Thing is when a man puts you in a particular category, you cannot get out of it.  The worst category is usually the friends with benefits; do not cheat yourself that you can become a girlfriend if only you agree to this. In his way of thinking, what you do or did with him, you must have done or do with other people too; making you a faulty lock.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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