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Ladies.... Never depend on your man... Not fully

10 September 2014, 15:35 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - My mother has always had a litany of advice for me, most I cannot make sense of. Others I just never hear. 

She has three daughters and four sisters and the one piece of advice she never tires of telling us is, 'Never be dependent on a man'.

In a way I totally agree with this one, especially when it comes to dealing with Kenyan men. Never underestimate a Kenyan guy as they do know how to take advantage of any situation. They know how to spot vulnerability and exploit it.

My mother never believed in sitting down and waiting for manner from heaven. This has saved her on innumerable occasions. Most of the guys I meet tell me that being an African man is a lot of hard work. You grow up knowing there are a lot of expectations set out for you. It is even harder when you are the only guy in the family. You take up the reigns of the family in every facet. By the time the woman in his life comes in, she is at the bottom of the list. The immediate family, then the relatives, then there is the village and then you.

Read also: Kenyan men love weaves and make up, they just can't admit it

I simply do not like being last, so I make myself first.

I am not a man-hater, neither am I a feminist.  The strongest women in the world even have men, but that does not mean they had to cut an arm and leg to be with them. I am honest enough to know I like men, and I enjoy their company, most of the time. But that does not mean I need to downgrade to suit their sub-par standards.

I appreciate the fact that there are those special ones out there, who really take care of their women and the women do not mind. There is nothing wrong with that as long as both parties are aware of each other’s expectations. No one will respect you less as long as it is your choice. If not, then you have another thing coming.

Read also: Signs to show he is not your soul-mate

Many surveys have stated that the chief reason why relationships fail is due to money issues. To the woman, strike it off your list and then things will be fine. They always are when you have no expectations when it comes to money.

But if you are comfortable waiting on the man, well then who am I to tell you otherwise.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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