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Ladies.. Never change for a man!

07 October 2015, 13:30 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - You have to take a man’s first reaction to you and run with it.

The problem with us women is this; you meet this man and you like him but he feeds you some line. ‘I am not ready for a relationship and I am also not ready for a fling either!’ The last bit he adds so you just basically do not offer anything to him at all but you do not read between those lines. His statement gives you pause because you know he is single and you heard through the grapevine he is looking for a relationship. You take stock of yourself and wonder what is wrong then you re-invent yourself- we do it all the time! 80% of women are usually a work in progress. We just weren’t beautiful, sexy and confident, it happened because of some situation, circumstance or A MAN!

What I am here to tell you is this; ‘he did not appreciate the caterpillar, he damn sure does not deserve the butterfly’.  Listen to that and just pause on it; but that is not what will happen and that is not the advice you will listen to.

This man will now come back and feed you another line about him being ready for something with you and you will take it. You will take his number, he will romance you, take you out on dates and you are now thinking, ‘he now sees me!’.

No he does not because at the moment he is just curious and looking for what he saw from the beginning, after he finds it, he dumps you and you are back to square one. Now you ask yourself what went wrong. What went wrong is that you went back to someone who would never appreciate you or your growth. He was just trying to solve a mystery.

Do not give that man that chance, let him continue being curious. Do not go back to the man that friend zoned you because he thought you were not good looking enough to be his woman, or up to his standard. The ex is usually the winner because you do not want to get out there and find someone new. You are hoping that he will upgrade his standards of his treatment of you because of your new development. He can do that for a couple of weeks and months and just when you are getting comfortable and liking this new ‘development’/ ‘change’/ ‘status’ in your ‘new’ relationship, he pulls the rug right underneath you and he is back! Now you are messed up again.

Whatever man it is that made you become who you are now, do not go back there for his confirmation and approval. Move on and find someone who will help nurture that instead of forcing you to pick up the pieces again.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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