Kenyan girl: Take control of your sex life
10 September 2014, 19:00
Nairobi - After a certain period of time, most relationships suffer
from boring sex. I do not think love comes into this. Some are driven to
flirting outside, just to get that spark going. Others go to extremes of
cheating to alleviate the boredom. It is not that either party may feel less
for the other, although in most cases it eventually degenerates to that, but, the
sex life is just boring.
At times someone is
just not good at all. You can just imagine, there is that person you have been
having these intense ‘moments’ with. There is a definite spark, they are
attractive, you are attractive; so you decide to ask them out. After a while,
the moment of reckoning comes, you end up in bed, but wait- nothing. You just
feel nothing, after all that build up.
Some people are just not thirsty enough for it and wait for
it to be handed down to them like manna from heaven. Waiting for your
resurrection, or waiting to receive is the worst thing you can ever do to yourself.
You create room for deception, and you really are missing out. In our case,
women are missing out because they are just afraid to find ways to get their
own satisfaction. The worst thing you can do, is just to go there, and lie
down. It’s called the starfish syndrome.
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You are not even aware of what is
happening. The guy even regrets being there, and you leave thinking you did him
a great favour. But, the joke is on you, there are women out there, who have the
guts to learn about their bodies and know what it is that makes them tick. Then
they use that information to get what they want.
I am not saying you
bark out orders like a marine operative, but if something is not working, you
are allowed to say so, and show a man what does. If you are not vocal, use your
hands, move a bit. Men are not mind readers.
But this will only work if you also know your own body. You are even
allowed to use those aunties from Uganda, I don’t know what they are called.
But they do have tricks up their sleeves.
So far I have talked about you, but the guy also has to
enjoy it. And the power does literally lie in your hands, be a game changer not
just another notch on his bed post.
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Casual sex limits
the number of experiments and exploits but otherwise be open to oral sex, but
only if it is reciprocated, otherwise you are allowed to say no. Foreplay is
good, not just for women, but also guys. Allow for slow progression, do not
just jump from the mouth to down under. You are allowed to kiss, lick and
touch, the neck, the arms, the back. There are many positions to work with,
find out about them. Spice it up and do not just limit it to the bedroom.
Sex does not come
with a manual but it is a continuous learning process. If it becomes boring,
you only have yourself to blame because you allowed it.
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