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Is your partner a thug?

16 March 2015, 15:30 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  Most of the time when you slip into the conversation about what someone does for a living; they get red lights and start thinking; maybe she is a gold digger and is just after my money. Maybe she just wants to secure herself in life and is not really interested in me the individual.

But maybe what you need to think, is that that person may actually want to get to know you better. Let us look at it from the man’s side too. If you are not asking your date what she is doing for a living, maybe you should. Every day I am constantly meeting with people who have faces for every occasion, location and every person they interact with, they even have a face for day time and night time. Can be quite risky for you as the man if you do not ask. She may have coffee during the day with you then one night you meet a look alike and you comfort yourself that it cannot actually be her walking the streets.

Believe it or not prostitutes do have social lives too and you may be her daytime face. Then there is the customer that gets the night time face.

I sort of understand why men are against weaves and make-up too; I go to YouTube and the transformations that these women accomplish puts the Star Wars Crew at a disadvantage. During the day her hair was straight at night it’s curly; let us not even get into the foundation business.


So when you are not asking your partner what they are doing what are you doing three months down the line, sleeping with a stranger and inviting them to your house. You should dig deep, I am not saying that you stalk someone but this is where you may have to take drastic measures. All the time we talk about men being thugs, conmen, and drug lords-all easy to ferret out. What about women though, I can testify to the fact that women can lead more than three lives all at the same time. They have the energy to do so too.

You should learn to watch your woman and the habits that she has. She says she works this day to this day, what time does she leave for work and what time does she come back? There are also the ones who work night shifts, true, there are 24hour jobs but have you ever dropped her there and actually seen her go in. Your woman may be an escort advertising on some site yet you are too clueless parading her on your arm during the day. That may clue you in as to why all those men are always staring.


There is nothing wrong with dating a pornstar, if that is what rocks your boat. The problem comes in when you actually do not know about it and you were never keen enough to figure out how your woman could afford this and that. Why she was more attentive than the other women you had dated and bought you all those gifts. Maybe she is compensating for something, most unwarranted gifts are a compensation for something. For example, when you do something bad that you want your woman to forgive you for, you buy her something. So you as the man, it is not your birthday, an anniversary or occasion that you need to get gift; but she is always getting you something. At times, take a step back and ask yourself what is she compensating for?


It is good to actually see someone’s pay slip at least once. Sneak a peek and just assure yourself that a company has actually paid her. If you never see one or hear you woman complain about her salary (no matter what we earn we always complain) then you need to ask yourself some hard questions.

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