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Is there patience in dating?

15 October 2015, 17:03 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I normally talk about patience in marriage and patience in relationships but what about patience in dating? Never because I know when it comes to dating, you are dating because you want someone that will be just yours and that is why you are in a rush. There is no patience in dating because you want to go on date one or two and someone to tell you; ‘yes, you are the one we are now in a relationship!’ Or there is the other one that people never admit to. At his or her house and after a fake conversation over drinks while watching some ‘show’ that one of you heard about, you end up in ‘that other situation’ and that is when someone asks, ‘so what are we?’

There is no patience in dating because to be honest dating can be tiresome

In a perfect world, we would all meet someone, click, it would be the same for them and we would all not even have to have a talk because we would know I want to try it with this one. But that is not how it works, does it? You are going on dates because you want a relationship, be honest! So date 1, date 2, it is not working, they get the bootleg. Then next week another person, and the cycle continues. That is why there is no patience it gets tiresome having to do it over and over again. That is why when you meet that person who just works for you, they better agree with you or something crazy is about to go down.

Dating is tiresome because dating is desperate; hence no patience

You are not dating because you are looking for a new friend. Neither are you dating so that you can meet new people. It is so much easier for people who already know each other to set something up because they already know what conclusion they are both after. Maybe it is a friend of a friend that you were introduced to or you keep meeting in the same circles and you already know that you and this other person can have something. Now imagine a situation where it is two strangers who are trying to connect: 9/10 times it never works so you keep doing it and going back in because you are hoping that this might just be it. Being desperate for someone you can call your own is not bad but at times take a time out. You need it, trust me!

Blurred lines allows for no patience

Our parents are amazing and they live according to the law of deny, deny and deny further even while the evidence is there. Our parents were all number one in school and they all got As. The grading system must have changed in our time then. ‘Your father and I waited until we were married and blessed by a pastor before having sex and children.’ Well isn’t that me and my sister in that wedding photo so how did that work out? The main difference between our time and there time is just that we do what we are doing in open day light while they lied about what they were up to.

What am I saying? It is so hard to fake patience in a time where everything is moving very fast. Our lives are fast paced because every moment we are with someone we could be equally somewhere else fulfilling another need. Making enough for the family we want to have. We want careers too; no one these days wants to be a housewife. We want the dream. So yes, when I find someone who is on the same page as I am we are going to hurry and get that dating circus out of the way. When we get into the place that matters, a relationship and it does not work, we then move on because dating is time, you can never get back time and time is money.

Get into a relationship with someone who you are on the same page with, does not matter if you went on only one date. You will figure it out later.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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